Betty White Rides a Shark John Ritter Centaur; Betty White Eats a Shark Hot Dog

One of the maxims (maxima?) I live by is that it's okay to like things that are popular. It took a few years of therapy (high school) for me to come to this realization. Now, two Vampire Weekend albums later, I'm cool with it.

Still, some things, well, some things lose their luster when Internet memes and Facebook groups get a hold of them. I am of course talking about the Golden Girls, who have been a love of this blog's since the start of time. (What's a few Gypsy curses among friends?) Now I know that the Golden Girls were very popular in the 80's, and continue to be popular among 80's nostalgians and gay men of all stripes, but that's just run-of-the-mill interest group popularity that doesn't register much on the full scales of our wide popular culture.

But Betty White in a bikini riding a centaur John Ritter? Betty White Kobayashiing a hot dog? These images came up in my daily news review. Like, they are things in the news. Sigh, Betty. I knew you when.

In It to Win It

Great athletes do unthinkable things in order to compete. Curt Schilling pitched the World Series through a bloody sock. Lance Armstrong defeated cancer to win seven consecutive Tour de France titles. Rocky battled senescence and a steroid-ravaged brain to make one last stab at box office glory. But today those towering figures of American sport were eclipsed by one man: Kobayashi. Yes, I realize he lost, but as I have said in other fora his heart is as big as his duodenum. With time running out in today's hot dog battle and with the unofficial tally showing him tied with Joey "Jaws" Chestnut, Kobayashi had (what is known in the biz as) a "Reversal of Fortune." But in the absence of Alan Dershowitz (or even Ron Silver) to guide him, Kobayashi did what only a great athlete would do. He stuffed hands to face, pushed vomit back into his own mouth, and kept eating. You see, as the announcer points out, in competitive eating you're credited for what's in your mouth when time is called, and a reversal can lead to a disqualification. Unthinkable. Unspeakable. Peerless. He's a champion for the ages--despite what this humorless, self-important prick thinks.

snackalogical warfare

c4ts, i know you have a blog entry fermenting in that fecund mind of yours, so i will keep my kobayashi- related post rather brief.

does he or doesn't he have jawthritis? even though he said he can barely open his mouth, he has vowed to compete next wednesday. omg...the suspense...

some choice quotes:
The Associated Press reported on Tuesday from Tokyo that “The champ may not be able to chomp.”

“All my friends and family,” he said, “they’re all saying, ‘Don’t pay any attention to it.’ But it doesn’t make sense. Why would anybody say, ‘Oh I’m going to compete, but I’m hurt’?” Mr. Chestnut sighed again and thought out loud: “He’s never gone into it as an underdog.”

Mr. Kobayashi, he said, “could come to the Fourth of July with his jaws wired shut, and I’m sure he could still do all right; he’s that good of an eater.”

“I tell myself that there’s nothing solid inside of me,” he said, “so I can put 14 pounds of food inside. It’s a mental thing, to be able to convince your body that it can do this.” He added, “My body says, ‘Hey, I’m hungry.’ There’s a reason to eat this much food.” [Ed. note: i say this to myself pretty much before every meal.]