The Humiliation of Tony Danza

If you think about it, it's actually kind of weird that Tony Danza has waited this long to cash in on his pseudo celebrity. I mean he's the consummate ham-fisted hasbeen we loutish, bulk-buying Americans love to favor with a second act. If you scour our collective unconscious, I'm sure you--or Leonardo DiCaprio--could find recessed memories of Tony Danza doing a stint on the second season of Dancing with the Amazing Idols. But the truth is, as E and I recently discussed, Danza has waited until now to unleash his realness on our TV sets.

Above is a clip from Teach: Tony Danza. Now I don't know when or what channel this show comes on. This is because I am an adult human with a job and familial responsibilities. I cannot spend my evenings with Tony Danza. I am 32. I have a 2001 Toyota Corolla that needs to have its oil changed, and there is laundry to fold. Boardwalk Empire is not going to watch itself. Still, I did want to comment on the above clip. While I assume Teach is a dumb, exploitative show in which Tony Danza attempts each episode to quote his own sitcom character whenever the opportunity arises or doesn't, the above clip is actually sort of dead on -- shockingly so. It's actually "real' in the way reality is real and not just a bizarre simulacrum of reality, packaged by a corporation and sold to us like a bag of Cheetos.

One of the most frustrating things about being a rookie teacher in a pubic school like Tony Danza's and like the one I worked in is how many middling bureaucrats and administrators there are out there who want nothing more in life than to lecture you about picking up your roster or punching in. Oh, Ms. De Naples, you punctilious minx, I knew her when.