convenient stereotypes for the new year

i loathe (but maybe love to hate) modern love, the most insipid addition to sunday styles, of which my college idol once said, "what is the point of that section? seems like anyone with a prada bag can get in it nowadays".

anyway, i usually try to ignore modern love but the premise of this week's column was irresistible: a divorced 46-year-old woman decides to marry her friend's brother. sounds boring and predictable, right? joke's on you - the friend and brother are chinese, and the latter lives in china. having never met the brother, the intrepid divorcee flies to china, says yes to the man's halting proposal, "do you want to marry?" and brings him back to albany, new york.

this discomfiting column appears to be an exploration of the old cliche, "all chinese people are bad drivers". and guess what, it's true! not only that, they speak poor english, albeit in an adorable and semi-exotic fashion (His voice was balm to my nerves, and the monthly rice-paper letters were always from “the brootom” of his heart) and all white people who travel to asia feel like scarlett johansson in my least favorite movie ever (describing the beijing airport: This was unlike an American crowd, where you feel harried, even accosted. There, I sailed comfortably through a sea of introverts.).

ick. i just thought of my first new year's resolution: stop reading modern love.

peanuuuut peanut butter!

while in the ATL my family and i decided to pay a visit to the carter center, since jimmy carter (i think) remains my dad's favorite president. sure, stagflation, but who remembers such things nowadays? anyway, i took a few photos:

yes please!

peanuts, teeth - really don't need anything else. amazing how it actually resembles him, kind of like that munch muppet.

i wish they'd sold these posters in the gift shop. i sure would've bought one.

the infamous cardigan.

then we proceeded to the MLK jr. museum, which was about a mile away. unfortunately, the ebenezer baptist church was closed due to renovations and all of the tours of his birth home were full. i got a photo of the church, though.

ethics or butter?

so...i have a lot of things on my mind now, one of which is how actually sad the whole jamie lynn pregnancy debacle is. was she just doomed, considering the main influences in her life? will her mysterious/premarital sex having/churchgoing/age undetermined boyfriend be charged with statutory rape? most importantly, is there any hope at all for ali lohan?

i've complained from time to time about how bored i've been of late by indie rock. perhaps this is a combination of my own laziness, which has pretty much stopped my pursuit of new music, and the fact that a lot of bands who showed promise seemed to putter out. anyway, i gave a listen to many of the songs on the pitchfork 100 list [insert c4ts' disapproval here], in an uncharacteristic show of...i guess initiative? well, not really - after all, i'm listening to music culled and compiled by a bunch of smug know-it-alls. i'm just a lemming. harvey lemming.

anyway, listening to these gave me some hope, although a fun single doth not a great album make. and c4ts, i wrote this in my comment to your post of jens lekman, but the one single pitchfork chose for this list actually made me angry. i had to stop listening. i find him to be insufferable.

oh yes, i meant to ramble on some about the korean election. i'm a bit torn about this guy. i like his hardscrabble background, the fact that he showed signs of an anti-authoritarian bent from an early age by protesting the government's desire to improve diplomatic relations with japan. not to mention, i always questioned the efficacy of this so-called "sunshine policy". sure, it yielded the lone nobel laureate in korean history (i believe), but kim jong-il be crazy, dude. he's starving his own citizens. call me cynical, but he's not going to capitulate bc you offer some niceties.

anyway, i've not yet spoken with my parents about this, but i think my dad's stance is that "well, lee's the lesser of the evils". but is he? what about this corruption charge? do the koreans really want a president rendered impotent by an indictment?

this lee guy seems very result-oriented, sometimes bending the rules to suit his needs and goals. i'm not sure if i can be fully on board with that. i understand you have to grease some palms to make things happen, but haven't we had enough corruption in korea?

btw c4ts, my friend at work today pointed out exactly why i feel uncomfortable with haircut 400 (even beyond this very perturbing rumor of an extramarital affair. lord, please tell me this man wasn't cheating on his CANCER-STRICKEN WIFE). i admire his message and i think his whole "son of a millworker" thing isn't a shtick. it's damn hard to be in the running for president when you're the son of a millworker. but you know, john edwards just seems to really enjoy his money and flaunt it: his ginormous house, his extravagant haircuts, his general opulence. his actions and his message are completely misaligned and, yeah, i know, i can't vote, but i can't trust this dude either.

thought you'd like to know...

here is a list of notable things from my firm's holiday party (which was held at the UN a few nights ago and, thankfully, not at the hard rock cafe again).

1. it featured "cuisines around the world" - "asia" (moo shoo pork or something, which was tasty, some type of noodle dish which was not. inexplicably, the sushi was in a separate room), "americas" (mini burgers, quesadillas containing what i said was chicken and what my officemate said was potato), and some others, but who am i kidding? i'm at a party with coworkers: more alcohol, pleeze.

2. people are really into the electric slide.

3. somehow they got the rights to put on a display of fireworks over the east river. i was pretty impressed. well, mostly because they coordinated the fireworks to music, including some michael bolton song i couldn't place (something about "belonging here" or "living the dream" - couldn't google it either) and...chariots of fire. very totalitarian. or maybe olympian?

4. i had a good time, but there will be no photos of me dancing by myself on my firm's intranet this time around, as there were last year. slowly i'm winning my dignity back, one fewer hip gyration at a time.

on a semi-related note, i thought that "left behind", that popular series of apocalyptic christian books, was just that, religious. well, who knew it had such a pointed political agenda? i read in an article (was it here?) that apparently, according to these books, after jesus' second coming the secretary general of the UN is the antichrist? is ban ki moon aware of this?

it's gettin' gettin' gettin' kinda hectic

in the blogosphere. c4ts, can we possibly compete with a blimp? stay tuned...

Ebony and Ivory, Kufi and Yarkmulke

I know quibbling with the New York Post editors over the reductive, bigoted ways in which they label people is futile through and through, but still, after seeing this, I have a quibble. Now I know all they wanted was for me to enjoy that warm, velvety feeling around my heart that some call the Christmas (err, holiday) spirit--I mean, actual evidence in a "major" (kidding, LOL) "newspaper" supporting the notion that maybe, just maybe, I (and my ilk) aren't a bunch of gibberish-babbling, virgin-seeking, freedom-haters--but, alas, no such feeling.

Ignoring the preliminary questions (e.g., what kind of person, upon getting the shit kicked out of him by neo-Nazis, strikes faux-prize-fighter poses like the Post is his Facebook page?; when the one attacker gets out of prison, having served time for his previous hate-crime, will the military accept his application? (rhetorical, LOL); it really took five people to write/contribute to this story??), can I just say this: this whole affair is deemed newsworthy (or as newsworthy as it is) because a "modest" and "hero[ic]" Muslim saw fit to help a couple of Jews avoid the wrath of psychopaths--that is, a Muslim behaved so far out of stereotypical character he merits "serious reportage" (3rd LOL). Now I know the Post would've run a story anyway, even if the guy weren't Bangladeshi, but the angle of the reporting is what interests me.

And yet, despite the angle, and though my heart isn't warmed--Lord Christ in heaven above--I know this is actually progress for our fat, dumb country. That said, what I still want for ChristmukkahEid (I added the Ay-rab holiday too, like it matters to anybody!; 4th LOL) is for people to stop asking where are all the moderate Muslims? How come they don't speak out? No one's given us much a forum in which to, and the New York Post is genuinely astonished that in the city of New York even one of us exists.

there goes our book deal

how are we gonna compete with this, c4ts?

bright ideas welcome.

donn-grosfeld/grosfeld-donn part 1

this marks the beginning of interweb detritus's first commissioned wedding coverage, which is going to put eva longoria and tony parker to shame. this is an awesome responsibility, and if nothing else, c4ts and i take our responsibilities very seriously.

anyway, the journey toward the union of anat tsipora grosfeld and anthony alexander donn begins on the upper east side, where anat's bridal shower was held (too bad, boyz. ladies only). the invite looked like this (sorry, don't know how to rotate):

there were a few missteps along the way. i dunno, i'd never been to a wedding shower before, so i politely asked the hostess in my RSVP whether i had to bring gifts that complied with the theme. apparently my question was too obvious because nobody responded. i was on my own.

i got off the crosstown bus in advance of the party's start time. i vaguely recalled reading that it's rude to show up early to a party and since i figured this would be a proper event (despite the fact i wore jeans--oops. i think the fact i remembered to bring a camera redeemed me somewhat), i decided to wander a little.

well, thank god i frolicked. look at this store i saw on lexington avenue.

unfortch, catherine keener wasn't there, and both sadly and kind of predictably, it had gone out of business:

onto more interesting things. the party was held at a very lovely penthouse:

FDR couldn't have had a cozier fireplace (real, working).

some of the many illuminati - bride's mom and groom's mom, from left to right:

bellport girls:

what more can you ask for - pink champagne, gifts, and cheesesticks. man, i wish i had some cheesesticks right about now.
delicious fondant cake (i think that's what it's called. anyway, it was mmm good):

anat received a breakfast in bed tray.

apparently there is some tradition where you gather all of the ribbons from the bride's gifts and make either a hat or a bouquet that will be worn/used at the wedding rehearsal. yeah, i don't get it either. white people. sasha, who made the wedding invites (about which we will blog as well at a later point), made a rather impressive headpiece, especially considering the constraints.

anat with anna banana, who is in the wedding:

anat and her mom! cute:

vows, shmows. i think we've one-upped the new york times on this one. yeah, take that, gray lady.

Separated at Birth: Ron Paul and Magneto

Magneto tried to foist his mutinous mutant-centrism onto an unprincipled and bigoted America in X-Men: The Last Stand. He had an army at his disposal and Uncle Jesse's ex-wife as his Karl Rove. He could bend things with his mind grapes.

Ron Paul's kinda the same, except instead of mutant-centrism, he's got a dog-eared copy of Atlas Shrugged; instead of an army, he's got fanboys with paypal accounts; and instead of Mystique, he's got, I don't know, a cabal of neo-Nazis.