i read this on yelp today

review of an indian restaurant in vancouver:

My wife and I stopped here for lunch, the place was virtually empty. Pleasant inside, but my suprise came when I was served by a chinese waitress, not that I'm against the chinese, I wouldn't be here if that was the case. I was merely pointing out the obvious instant lacking of authenticity.

how you doin'

hot? tired? me too. must be a case of the olds.

here is a surprisingly informative interview with stephen malkmus. i guess he's over his post-adolescent nihilistic phase. oh such earnest and relatively comprehensive answers about pavement's history!

and yes, that photo is my bi-annual eric foner update: on anderson cooper 360 talking about the 14th amendment! does he have a book to shill? what's happening?!

we are all getting old

aside from not being able to sleep off a hangover anymore and scoffing at people who dress inappropriately for the weather (e.g., tight jeans when it's 90 degrees outside--yikes!) and/or wear non-sensible footwear, i think age is making me sappy.

case 1. i feel really, really sorry for the japanese world cup team. i know, dude. i keep reminding myself, hello, the occupation of korea? comfort women? for manufacturing a shite car just after my parents broke their decades-long embargo on japanese products and purchased a toyota? APOLO OHNO????

nonetheless, to go out on PKs after defying all expectations is rough. i wish soccer had sudden death.

case 2. i got all choked up over party down's season (perhaps series?) finale. i love this show because it's kind of a relentless downer, which, let's face it, life can be sometimes. you can hope against all evidence and common sense that you're going to make it out of the wilderness, but sometimes you're just going to get kicked in the ass. repeatedly. i'll divulge nothing here except to say that there was an ambiguous glimmer of semi-hope at the end of this episode.

and you know what? that shit really got to me.

finally, and most treacly, case 3. i was on the subway yesterday, standing next to this large-ish black dude wearing a do-rag, a thriller t-shirt, heavy gold jewelry and giant gold sunglasses. i normally don't talk to anyone on the subway because, y'know, i'm not a crazy person, but it would never occur to me to talk to this guy. i'll say it: he was intimidating looking and did not seem like he wanted to casually converse. yeah, that's right, even though he was seated next to a stroller with his daughter inside.

a very pregnant white woman got on the next stop with two equally white little boys. the younger one, about 4 years-old, ran up to the black man and guilelessly exclaimed, "hello!" then he proceeded to show this man and his daughter a little toy he was holding in his hand. it wasn't even anything that exciting, a mere roll of measuring tape. the man removed his earphones and spoke briefly to the boy and his daughter, who attempted to snatch the tape away. whenever the train shook, the little boy held onto the man's trunk-like legs.

i tried to think of a lot of unsavory things to steel myself against the man-in-the-mirror-ness of it all, to no avail. this shit was seriously touching.

ugh, i gotta go now. matlock is on.

i chu-chu-[steven] chuse you

yeah i know, it's a terrible joke. (for those of you who don't get it...how are we friends? kidding. here it is.)

i've been watching the cabinet appointment process with some interest. so far, he's vindicated eric shinseki and, in my mind, wen ho lee. we've distanced ourselves somewhat from automatically associating asian men in science with espionage (yeah, i know, bill richardson, who led the charge against lee, will be commerce secretary in the new administration. it's not a complete victory. let's just hope that he doesn't make all asians rebuild america's crumbling infrastructure). i also admit that steven chu sort of looks like a more handsome (?) version of your prototypical asian male nerd. one stereotype at a time, i suppose.

what's even better than having two asians safeguarding some of america's icons (military, energy/national security)? 3 asians? no, government officials from cities. yes, those un-real, un-american bastions of elitism. so far, eric holder, obama himself, timothy geithner, hillC, this dude arne duncan, shaun donovan, and rahmbo all hail from NYC and chicago. you can let me know if i've missed any.

my unshakable bias in favor of urban areas (loosely defined in my head as places with a certain level of population density, viable public transportation system, and a government with a at least some understanding of the need for public services and infrastructure) started when i moved from vancouver to atlanta and realized that sidewalks--sidewalks--were not a given. whether driven by race or some other misguided NIMBY-ism, atlantans generally eschewed investment in public property; certain counties refused to permit MARTA within their boundaries. i don't have any sophisticated thoughts on this. it's just mean to not give people who either cannot afford or do not want to drive a car an alternate mode of access.

with 2008 drawing to a close and possibly the best bush comedy skit behind us (this one? that one? too many to count), i really hope that this new administration, with their exposure to and faith in cities, will rebuild public infrastructure and give cities their due.

oh yes, for those who may think city folk are a bunch of snobs, people who live in single-family dwellings with fenced-in yards at the exclusion of all others shouldn't cast stones.

Calling All Douche-staches

This is Tom Friedman's latest sad sack of racism and unreasonable generalizations.

Below is the (unedited -- Director's cut!) letter I submitted to the Times in response:

In his most recent op-ed piece, "Calling All Pakistanis," Thomas Friedman asks "ordinary" Pakistanis to gather in the streets to denounce the depraved lunatics who perpetrated the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai. On the surface, this is not an unreasonable request. After all, in the name of a shared faith several Pakistanis, it would seem, have murdered scores of innocents, and yet no outpouring of organized dissent has spilled forth onto the streets of Lahore and Karachi.

How can this be, Mr. Friedman wonders, given Pakistanis' easy devolution into violent street protest in the wake of the frivolous Danish cartoon affair. The only conclusion to be drawn from Mr. Friedman's words is that Pakistanis are irrational, petty, and disinterested in substantive affronts to their faith and to their nation. In reading his piece, I am reminded how empty our own streets have been in the wake of all that we know about Guantanamo; I am reminded how spirited the boycott of the Dixie Chicks was following their remarks about the President. I am reminded that we too are a people more inclined to protest words with which we disagree than violent acts committed in our name. Perhaps, there remains a question of degree, but in this regard are the Pakistanis very different from us?

And this is my letter were it a Lolcat:

the rising

with some vaguely urgent sense of purpose i went to northeast illadelphia to canvass for obama. of course, the fact that volunteers would receive priority tickets to a free springsteen concert helped. over 100 volunteers from nyc came. most of those i spoke with came from the BK and despite appearances, were surprisingly lacking in cynicism. i guess that's to be expected from a crowd that probably got up at 6am to drive or take the train down.

the neighborhood we canvassed was white (maybe there was one potentially hispanic person) and working class. many were senior citizens living on social security and several homes were multi-generational. most of the people we tried weren't home, but those with whom we spoke were largely well-informed and thoughtful.

well, let me correct myself. the day begain inauspiciously as one elderly couple told us they were undecided. the woman said outright, "we're christians and we don't trust that obama because he is a muslim." ask las latinas, but apparently i blanched at her comment. my brain froze for a moment and i tried to recover with a weak "well you know he and his family go to church every week--" "no no, that church, you saw that church. i don't believe it." so i tried an alternate angle, "well, you know senator biden is a churchgoing catholic and has been for a long time." she seemed to soften a little at the mention of biden. i pressed further, "i just don't think senator biden would trust someone he didn't think was honest and jeopardize his country if he really thought senator obama was dangerous." she also told me that she thought we were worse off than we were 8 years ago, but president clinton was horrible and ruined this country with his moral failures.

the undecided voters we spoke with vehemently agreed that bush was horrible for this country and things needed to change. some were unemployed, some were employed but didn't have health insurance, and all were very angry at the bailout. they didn't see how either candidate could fulfill any of their promises considering the government would fall deeper into debt. several of those we spoke with had voted for hillary in the primaries. the logic went something like this: 1) yes, i voted for hillary. 2) yes, i see that obama and hillary's policies are virtually identical. 3) yes, i like joe biden. 4) i just don't know if i can vote for obama.

i didn't follow the logic between 3 and 4, but the fact that mccain is a "maverick," whatever the hell that means at this point, and that they couldn't trust a black man and possible secret muslim meant they were left in a quandry. most everyone expressed deep cynicism at all of the presidents they had seen over the years who had promised them everything and delivered virtually nothing of direct impact. yet everyone adamantly told us that they vote in every election and they were certainly going to vote in this one.

one 19-year-old guy who lived with his parents (according to our spy sheet) answered the door holding his very young daughter. we asked him what he thought about the election and he said, "well, both candidates have their faults. i don't like that mccain doesn't want to give universal healthcare because, y'know, my daughter doesn't have any health insurance right now. but i don't want obama to take away people's guns."

as if the two were of equal merit! what do i know. i'm just a quasi-socialist and possibly elitist canadian. we told him that senator obama wants smarter regulations on guns so they won't be so readily available to everyone, but he had no interest in banning them. that seemed to placate him a little, but we left without any definitive conclusions.

thankfully, we asked one obama supporter (finally!) what contributed to his decision and he said "well, i don't think this country can go on with two wars in afghanistan and iraq. and you know, john mccain is quite old and has health problems and this palin just isn't smart enough." his answer was much more nuanced than that, but i just appreciated that a middle-aged person openly admitted his misgivings about mccain's age and at least one person was suspicious about palin's qualifications.

las latinas and i wanted to hug him.

the day ended on a high note. bruce springsteen gave a free concert in support of obama and voter registration. thanks to my superior tickets, i was probably closer to him than i ever will be. he played an acoustic set of about 8 or 9 songs, including "thunder road," "the ghost of tom joad," and of course, "the rising." he gave a heartfelt speech in the middle of the set about how we tried this four years ago and failed, but we were still going to try again because the country was on a dangerous course. there is something very unironic about my appreciation for bruce. he manages to exude authenticity with his aviator shades, flannel shirt and torn jeans despite his fame and wealth.

ed rendell and bob casey spoke before the concert and rendell issued an ominous but probably accurate warning that this campaign was going to get extremely ugly. sure enough, palin is accusing obama outright of cavorting with terrorists, albeit domestic ones.

so what now? i am pretty worried. the "othering" of obama is easy to do because his background is so exotic. i gave my dad a translated copy of "dreams of my father" and he said to me, "you know, i read the whole thing and i appreciated what he was saying, but i think he should have talked about his mother more. this is not going to help people relate to him much."

las latinas and i repeatedly emphasized to everyone that the democrats have always supported the middle class and these swing voters must not forget history. i just hope that this small handful of people who are going to decide all of our fates make the right choice.

links i like

as written earlier, i have given up any hope. i'm not doing it to be a partypooper or to be contrarian or to jump on a bandwagon. i am just not feeling it anymore. "it" has been replaced with an overwhelming sense of doom.

so here are some funny/informative links. yay.

1) everyone luvs the guv! i really hope he ascends to a bigger platform than even new york bc he really is the straight talk express.
2) i don't find anderson cooper all that attractive, but i dare you to not laugh at this video.
3) here's some more fodder for those of us who think sarah palin is a fucking idiot who makes me ashamed to be a woman. and/or a hockey fan.
4) you should read this. painkiller addiction? check. daddy issues? check. crazy? check.

oh yeah, the greatest news of all: 30 rock is returning on october 30. i'll just put the season premiere on loop to get me through election day.

IT'S BIDEN

That's the inside scoop -- in that it comes straight from my gut. Given the provenance of such a rumor, let's all celebrate with an oldie but goodie: Biden on what it's like to go to 7-11 and Dunkin' Donuts.

Ebony and Ivory, Kufi and Yarkmulke

I know quibbling with the New York Post editors over the reductive, bigoted ways in which they label people is futile through and through, but still, after seeing this, I have a quibble. Now I know all they wanted was for me to enjoy that warm, velvety feeling around my heart that some call the Christmas (err, holiday) spirit--I mean, actual evidence in a "major" (kidding, LOL) "newspaper" supporting the notion that maybe, just maybe, I (and my ilk) aren't a bunch of gibberish-babbling, virgin-seeking, freedom-haters--but, alas, no such feeling.

Ignoring the preliminary questions (e.g., what kind of person, upon getting the shit kicked out of him by neo-Nazis, strikes faux-prize-fighter poses like the Post is his Facebook page?; when the one attacker gets out of prison, having served time for his previous hate-crime, will the military accept his application? (rhetorical, LOL); it really took five people to write/contribute to this story??), can I just say this: this whole affair is deemed newsworthy (or as newsworthy as it is) because a "modest" and "hero[ic]" Muslim saw fit to help a couple of Jews avoid the wrath of psychopaths--that is, a Muslim behaved so far out of stereotypical character he merits "serious reportage" (3rd LOL). Now I know the Post would've run a story anyway, even if the guy weren't Bangladeshi, but the angle of the reporting is what interests me.

And yet, despite the angle, and though my heart isn't warmed--Lord Christ in heaven above--I know this is actually progress for our fat, dumb country. That said, what I still want for ChristmukkahEid (I added the Ay-rab holiday too, like it matters to anybody!; 4th LOL) is for people to stop asking where are all the moderate Muslims? How come they don't speak out? No one's given us much a forum in which to, and the New York Post is genuinely astonished that in the city of New York even one of us exists.

secret asian man

i've always harbored an extreme, borderline irrational hatred of the show "friends." okay fine, so it's kind of like hating racism or cloudy days, and i'm not exactly going out on a limb here by despising this sad excuse for entertainment (yes yes, how is rachel affording that huge-ass soho loft on her coffee shop waitress salary? how can joey afford anything? are there really no minorities in nyc aside from superhot women who date greg kinnear? and why does the fact that joey's favorite food is "sandwiches" make me simultaneously laugh and hate myself for finding it funny?). everyone knows i love television and would never sully it without due cause.

anyway, steve park is in a new movie. i'd totally forgotten about this guy. apparently he married the white woman from in living color (who i always confused with george stephanopolous's wife). i also had no idea about this vitriol he directed at that nadir of television, friends, which he describes as follows: "Working with the people involved with this show was an extremely painful experience for me. A disturbing lack in generosity of spirit and basic human courtesy, in addition to a racial incident on the set, has forced me to speak out."

but didn't grey's anatomy teach us that people of all races can get along so long as nobody is gay?

Oh My! I'm a Casual Racist

I really like it when old people confuse casual racism with witty observation or old world charm. There is, for instance, that old lady from Arrested Development, who said to Gob, "You could charm the black off a telegram boy." She ends up choking on a piece of chicken. And then there's CBS sports chief Dick Enberg (pictured). During tonight's broadcast of the Southern Illinois-Kansas game the old-timey announcer attempted to praise the Salukis' Jamaal Tatum, a gifted player--a young black man--with a 3.64 GPA: The only C's he's ever gotten, said Enberg in chuckling disbelief, were in African-American Studies. Whoah! But he's black! How is that even possible?! Don't you get, like, a B just for having awesome dreads like Tatum? I wonder if Enberg thinks I should have done better in that Terrorism and State-Sponsored Violence class I took in college.