Sunday, January 20, 2008

My Most Inevitable Post Ever -- Part 3



Hillary Clinton/Prop Joe

Both have survived as long as they have because they understand deeply and intuitively how the game works. Clinton was deflecting potshots from Gingrich and Maureen Dowd when her current challengers were playing handball in the schoolyard; Prop Joe took on Avon in Season 1, negotiated with Stringer through season 2, hooked up the Greek connect, formed the co-op, and managed challenges from Omar, all the while bringing Slim Charles and all the west-side peoples into the fold. Right now, he looks out-muscled by Marlo and his astonishingly well-organized team (Snoop and Chris Partlow), but are you really going to count him out as the storm Marlo's invited starts to gather?

My Most Inevitable Post Ever -- Part 2



Barack Obama/Marlo Stanfield

Both rocketed to fame from modest beginnings (Illinois state legislature/umm, literally out of the fucking blue) to dominate in respective arenas (Iowa/West Baltimore). While both rake in the cash, they can't rest until the crown is placed firmly on their heads. Inevitably, both clash with the elder states(wo)men in the game (the Clintons/Prop Joe), who clearly fear them, but all are left wondering, when the dust settles how does this end? Is this youthful exuberance or the work of a wunderkind we're watching?

My Most Inevitable Post Ever -- Part 1

First of all, shut up. I know "inevitability" is an absolute, and cannot be quantified. The title is just a bit of poetic license. Note, this quality is also true of "unique," despite some readers' faith in modern usage. Anyway, the point of the post is this: while some have decided to analogize the presidential field to college football teams (highlight: Edwards/Clemson -- "Attractive; high-energy; fan bases are an occasionally uncomfortable mix of blue-collar types and influential big-money boosters...") and others to the hip hop scene (Joe Biden/Joe Budden -- "I'm lazy."), I'm taking the obvious route here. I present the Presidential candidates if they were characters from The Wire...



John Edwards/Stringer Bell
Golden boys in their own right, both worked tirelessly to advance the goals of another (John Kerry/Avon Barksdale) who, because of stubbornness, would only disappoint them. Ultimately, both tried to change the rules of the game altogether and strike out on their own (eschewing the Democratic establishment for politically unsellable populism/eschewing the game for life as a legit businessman). Despite fiercely loyal fans, both had to meet their ends, sadly and brutally, at the hands of a fierce and unlikely tag team--Obama-Clinton/Omar-Brother Mouzone.

moment of levity


i didn't realize this position even existed. what are clooney's qualifications? you know, to think of it, maybe the UN selection committee penned this article as well.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Dear Heidi, Democracy Is a Failed Enterprise

In 1995, when I was 17, I procured some funds from my school to go to South Africa (then a newly minted democracy). Ostensibly, I was to study the roles of Asian and Muslim subgroups in the anti-Apartheid movement, but really, the expectations were pretty low: if I came back and showed some nice pictures in a slide show presentation at assembly I'd have satisfied my charge--which was fine by me, because, given my tender years and unshakable nature, I wasn't really one to labor over anything anyway.

Truthfully, I was going only because I wanted to be there in that improbable country in that astonishing moment--not because I wanted to write up a report for school. Mandela had been transformed from prisoner to statesman, and, I don't know--I guess I just wanted to live in the milieu, amidst all that gathering hope. For me, South Africa was rife with vague possibility, and I became fixated with it. In my grant proposal I think I said something to the effect of never having lived through the 1960's, I couldn't really know what it was for a democracy to be born, and so I could but only take it for granted.

More than twelve years later, Mandela's handpicked successor has shown the world what it is to take democracy for granted: he has bungled his way through a deepening race and class divide and has denied prevailing medical science as HIV ravages sub-Saharan Africa. He's become so unpopular that he was unseated by a notoriously corrupt bigamist whose achievements include resisting a rape conviction (and doing so only after asserting that a woman wearing a skirt invites sex, and that once sex has been purloined from such a woman, one need only shower in order to stave off HIV). This is modern democratic South Africa. This is the country that Mandela's efforts gave birth to, and that my youthful, exuberant feelings of hope were pinned to.

But I shouldn't pick on South Africa. Our own country is in a state of severe indifference about that which we have wrought in the decaying world: We de-Baathified Iraq and disbanded its army and squeezed the Iraqi people dry to the bone, and then reelected the President who perpetrated these acts and said of them, "Freedom is on the march"; we say now that he's led us into disgrace, but we do nothing to punish his unrepentant enablers; we call for men and women of ideas to lead us, yet we're spasmodic with joy when ideas are traded for watchwords and hollow platitudes; in fact we refuse wholesale to process ideas, and we punish those who dare run for office solely on the basis of them.

As the embers of the World Trade Center scatttered about New York City, we were driven to bloodlust, and Susan Sontag said, poignantly and most bravely, that we are not a mature democracy. She was excoriated for this, but the fact remains we don't care about our democratic institutions, and so we've stood watch as they've eroded.

And this brings me to the Presidential race. Although New Hampshire and Nevada have not gone his way (well, at least not the popular vote in Nevada), now comes Barack Obama with promises to end all this malarkey. South Carolina, a bellweather state in the primary season, aims to vault him to the nomination, if polls are to be trusted. (I'm being insincere--we know polls are not to be trusted, and we know his opponent is an intensely disciplined campaigner who will parry his every move.) And If my generation and its Ritalin-addled, Playstation- atrophied collective mind is to be trusted--and of course, we know it too is not to be--he's a symbol of hope, an agent of change, and on these wings he should glide into the White House, but I confess: he leaves me wanting and sad.

Firstly, it should be pointed out, that I don't care at all about character. Serious people are able to see that a man who has had an affair, or one who moronically provided receipts for pricey salon care, or one who has snorted cocaine as a teenager can govern this broken country. Serious people do not stand around with "Oh, no, he di'n't" placed firmly on the tips of their tongues should a hoarse candidate emote oddly into a microphone. And serious people don't base their vote on what they think their unserious colleagues think about a candidate's chances--that is, on the tyranny of electability. I don't object to Barack Obama because of nebulous ideas about his character; nor, conversely, do I care if nebulous ideas about his character make him appear like a man of consequence. In this regard, however, he does not sway me and I'm bewildered by those who are inspired by his speechifying. I care only about the substance of what he has to say, and to date he has said little that gives me hope for the future of our country.

He has declared open disdain for the sovereignty of Pakistan, a country that has been torn asunder by refugees and pro-Taliban forces, people who were driven out of Afghanistan in the first place by Bush's War on Terror, saying, "There are terrorists holed up in those mountains who murdered 3,000 Americans. They are plotting to strike again. If we have actionable intelligence about high-value terrorist targets and President Musharraf won’t act, we will." The extent of the naivete of this statement is staggering: it is true that Musharraf has over-reached in myriad ways the last year or so, and hangs on by a thread, but there are no viable political parties left to contest elections, and the Pakistani electorate is seething in frustration--yet one of the Democratic front-runners thinks that it's in America's interest to further galvanize dispossessed Pakistanis by making reckless claims about how he'd proceed in a post-Bush world. Some have called this an extension of the Bush doctrine, but at least Bush understands now how dumb it is to assert your will on to countries that can bite you in the ass.

Now, I'm not naive. I understand that if Osama Bin Laden popped up on the grid in a hut outside of Peshawar, whoever's President's going to take him out, but announcing to the world--unprovoked--as Obama did, that he has no interest in preserving our tenuous ties to the Pakistani government shows that he misunderstands basic geopolitics--and he misunderstands what American interests are. Musharraf's an asshole, but if you alienate him, where exactly does he go to make alliances? Obama is willing to score the easy political points by running to the hawkish center, but as he promises to cowboy his way around dangerous and complex regions of the world, I'm left wondering--this, this, motherfucker, is the politics of hope?

I understand that this issue is simply irrelevant to the masses of Americans who want to resist Clinton-Bush imperial succession and that I'm uniquely interested in it; I understand also that many of us want to credit Obama for his early resistance to the War on Iraq, and we want to celebrate his progressive bona fides because he was a community organizer and led get-out-the-vote efforts, but shouldn't the Presidency require more? What does it mean to oppose the War from the beginning--like, by the way, I did and virtually everyone I know--and then to vote unwaveringly in financial support of it once you've arrived in the Senate (in a fashion identical almost to Hillary Clinton)? What does it mean to
stand for health-care reform but eschew a universal mandate , thereby excluding millions of Americans
? What does it mean when your great healthcare triumph in Illinois was brokered through insurance companies? What does it mean that you've established yourself as a moderate in the Senate, voting to confirm three of Bush's judicial nominees? And what does it mean when you've declared Ronald Reagan as your political role model?

There can be wide-ranging debate about these questions, but I think if, like me, you see the Presidency as something more than just a repository for rhetorical hope, then you have trouble swallowing the notion that Barack Obama will lead a progressive renaissance in the Executive. I don't want the next President compromising out of the gates with lobbyists, and I don't want him or her continuing to promote the failed notion that carpet bombing is the best way to deal with beleaguered and humiliated Muslims. (Hint: the best way is to take a page out of Hezbollah's book and build hospitals.) And I don't want the next President selling me bipartisanship and calling it hope. I want the next President to be pissed off and brimming with hell-fury about the ways in which common Americans have been cheated, poisoned, and lied to by our government. And most important, with the fracturing of the Republican coalition, I want the next President to eviscerate the other side, to expose it as the haven for rank, moneyed hypocrites that it is. I want the next President to answer to no God but the people. Maybe like the Americans Susan Sontag saw in the wake of September 11th, I'm immature--I've been called it before--but that's what democracy looks like to me. And since I know it's not what's in store for us (or for South Africans or for Pakistanis), I can't help but think democracy is a failed enterprise.

Friday, January 18, 2008

road to the whitehouse: even more poorly formatted separated at birth edition

anticipation

is not just a carly simon song. it's also what you're feeling now that i'm telling you that the 1 year milestone for this tour de force in the blogosphere is just around the corner. c4ts and i are gonna do something totally awesome. or not. but maybe!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

road to the white house: separated at birth edition


RIP, Josh From Ghost World (Also, I liked you in Bully)



Rest in peace, Josh from Ghost World. You could play blank and bullied like no other, but now you've gone off to mainline with the big, hypodermic needle in the sky. Still, you've left us a legacy--one that includes a pre-glam ScarJo, a post-Jack-Ryan Thora Birch, Babu from Seinfeld, and Steve Buscemi in a career role.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Friday, January 11, 2008

Mea Culpa

Ok, so the new year has not bode well for the future of C4tS blog posts. Strangely, my job has started to treat me if not quite like a person of conseqeunce, at least one out of whom a modicum of hard work can be extracted. And knowing me, as you do, reader, I prefer the epic to the minimalist blog post, and so I've little to show for myself these last few weeks, but I will return, return as triumphantly as the decrepit, angry old man who threatens to be our next President. For now, enjoy the smallish image above--this was something that Gawker media linked to at some point, which means I'm breaking my own rule about giving those snarky boys and girls more web traffic, but seeing as I actually saw this poster myself and thought about blogging about it when I did, I thought you'd forgive. Thank baby Jesus for nerdy modernism fanboys and their panache for graphic design and irony.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

is she gonna cry again?


her jacket is making bayrex cry.

also, who's that hot fuzzy man to chelsea's left?

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo

Yeah, yeah, I still owe Heidi an Obama post, but this very blog--a groundbreaking melding of Korean and South Asian minds--would be nowhere without the original such collaborators. So, I give you...

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Happy Armageddon!

Hey, I need to blog again. I know. Parents were in town Christmasweek, and then 'Pockets and I flew back east for a wedding in Pittsburgh/to see if my new niece/nephew had arrived on the scene, but that's no excuse: Benazir was assassinated/bumped her head; Pakistan devolved into a riotous and blood-spattered free-for-all (which led to the destruction of, among other things, my aunt's car...while she was driving it); The Wire season premiere dropped On Demand; Mike Huckabee became the would-be-nominee for a bit, then started to talk about things not related to our Lord and Savior/love handles; Giuliani became irrelevant; and Will Smith secretly converted to Scientology (which makes him still more electable than Romney). Also, Happy New Year! Here's to hoping that nuclear holocaust/impending Chinese colonization/bird flu/Britney-LiLo-Winehouse's inevitable group overdose and-or suicide pact decides to put off plans till '09 at least.