Slow-Day Observations: Hollywood

Hey, don't you think it's cool that Will Ferrell did a movie with Sacha Baron Cohen and then turned right around and did one with Sasha Cohen (pictured)? Yeah, me neither....Also, there is something to those Mormon tablets. Otherwise, there's no plausible explanation for how far supremely awkward Napoloeon Dynamite guy has stretched his fifteen minutes.

In totally unrelated Hollywood non-news, how is it that The Office, which--to its credit--has one of the most diverse casts on television only recognizes five cast members in its opening credits--all of whom are white? Is Ryan (straight man, rotting from within) more integral a character than Kelly? Or Karen? I'll accept that Stanley, Oscar (from Season 2), and the Warehouse guys are all subsidiary, and maybe Ryan gets a little bit more screen time than all but the four principals, but he's not the reason I watch...Anyway, Dunder-Mifflin, our little spring fling was fun while it lasted: 30 Rock's back on Thursday.

A2, Brutus?: Frat House Hijinks Edition

We here at Interweb Detritus do have standards--cloaked in secrecy though they might be. We tend to avoid the scatological, the prurient, etc. But once in a while a story comes along that tests this policy. Such is the tale of Melissa, the wayward Eastern Michigan student who taught the boys at Pi Kappa Alpha a little lesson last week. Apparently, when frat boys wildest fantasies come true, all they can think of doing is to throw out the couches.

Music Video of the Day: Sleazy Remark on Her Whorish Dress Edition

This is "Backfire at the Disco" by Liverpudlian, dance-punk darlings the Wombats. They took SXSW by storm a couple of weeks back. Watch and see why.

"He disrespected us in the most horrific way."

Loyal readers of this Blog know cold4thestreets' feelings about America's Mayor. He's the worst kind of politician: power-hungry, shrill, devoid of ideas, nakedly, cynically exploitative of our worst fears. He's a dishonorable man and stands to gain more from September 11th than its perpetrators; he's never met a union he didn't want to bust up, a homeless guy he didn't want to drag to central booking, and yet I'm supposed to get all weak in the knees because he has some sort of passing grasp of reproductive rights. Finally, the other shoe's dropping. Members of New York's Bravest--maybe the most honorable people our country knows--are beginning to come out with their true feelings about Giuliani. Let's hope this is only the beginning...

and we ride on them things like everyday

tyler recently informed me that mayor shirley franklin of phatlanta proposed a $1 billion revitalization of peachtree street (not to be confused with peachtree avenue, circle, boulevard, post, etc.). the most intriguing part of this proposal to me, aside from the bike lanes, is that atlanta will be getting a streetcar line.

a streetcar! along one of the wealthiest and, let's face it, whitest neighborhoods in atlanta? racial integration on public transit isn't exactly atlanta's strongsuit. hello marta. as a pseudo-communist from canada, i was shocked to find that people disagreed on the necessity of public infrastructure, like, uh, sidewalks. i can't imagine that atlantans will be rushing to pay for this with their tax dollars, but that remains to be seen.

anyway, mayor franklin, i salute your efforts. traffic congestion in your city is ungodly and, not to mention, un-al gore. but please propose a superior slogan to "itsmarta."

on an unrelated note, i'm gonna don my flannel and go see sebadoh this weekend. long live the early to mid-90s!

Known Knowns, Known Unknowns, Unknown Unknowns

You know, what's weird? Those moments in life when you discover something that's common knowledge is unknown to you. Maybe, you've been pronouncing the word "oeuvre" or "Penelope" wrong, maybe you thought the Maldives are in the Mediterranean, maybe (like me) you thought Jennifer Lopez and A.C. Slater (pictured) are siblings in real life. Who knows, but the point is no one's ever corrected you. This happened to Jon Stewart a few weeks ago when he said "sang-gween" instead of "sang-gwin," and his guest, Jerry Seinfeld called him on it. The look on Stewart's face was classic: sheepish meets sarcastic, in keeping with his typical poses, but beneath the surface you could tell he was embarrassed. But this kind of thing happens to everyone. In fact I have a friend who's about the smartest person I know, and she thought I was mainlining Jack Daniels when I said so and so was making money hand over fist.

Anyway, I myself just now had one of these moments. Apparently, I have gone my whole life writing and saying "fin de siecle" for "piece de resistance." Bill Safire is going to be so disappointed in me. (Of course, he would never use "so" incorrectly as I just did.)

Ain't No Bar/Bri like California Bar/Bri...

Earlier today I attempted to go the the California Bar Exam website, but accidentally browsed my way to this site. The old .org/.com mix-up. Check out the lead picture on the second site--you have to click the link, since it won't let me poach it for some reason. What's up with that image? The .com site purports to be "for resources and information on Lawyers and California Bar Exam," and I know the California Bar is hard. I shit myself daily just thinking about it, but it doesn't really help matters when in attempting to register for it I'm met with a picture of a recent law school graduate who's obviously just failed, disappointed grandpa, and shamed himself in front of a group of nonplussed old people--that or he just got convicted for a DUI in the California Court of Senescence, which will seriously impact his moral fitness and character review.

Get Your Mind Correct

Presidential campaigns are really bizarre for a number of reasons, as we all know. In the course of seeking the presidency, your honorable military service can be torpedoed by a bunch of partisan zombies who didn't actually serve with you, your pre-Angelina adoption of a Bangladeshi orphan can cost you the South Carolina primary, and you might find yourself in Des Moines, going through puberty while screaming "Yeeeaaah!" into a microphone. These are examples of the kind of scrutiny you haven't invited on yourself. They're also known as smear campaigns.

But then, there's that other kind of scrutiny. The kind you seek out. Rudy Giuliani (pictured)--perhaps the most attention-starved man this side of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad--knows what I'm talking about: After all, as mayor of New York he saw fit to hold press conferences to decry suicide bombers in the Middle East and to announce the dissolution of his marriage (without consulting his soon-to-be-ex first). His media whorishness--which makes Chuck Schumer look like a wallflower--reached fever pitch of course on September 11th, when lo and behold, without him having to ask, the world's cameras voluntarily turned to him. His brave choice not to disintegrate into histrionics--which, as I recall, can be said of almost every other New Yorker as well--has earned him a Bush-style free pass. But I digress...

You run for President and everything you say takes on new import. Knowing that, why on God's green earth is Barack Obama opining about the civil rights of the three Duke lacrosse players. Yes, it's pretty obvious Mike Nifong, the Durham County District Attorney, hid exculpatory evidence in pursuing his case, violated North Carolina's rules of professional conduct with his inappropriate comments, and drummed up racial tensions so that he could win re-election. These kids were hosed. I have no doubt about that. But it's also pretty clear that they're members of a dishonorable organization, a team that's pretty comfortable with racism and misogyny. (Listen to the 911 calls). I am not saying you reap what you sow. Nifong's an asshole. But so are these kids (though they're not rapists), and in an age when scores of non-assholes have their civil rights routinely trampled on, how is this a cause celebre?

Obama, you need to stay out of this. If you want to be President, your plate should be full already, with things like health care, which you seem to have no imagination about. Ain't no votes in the rape case, son. Get your mind correct...

still beats david boies

wow, this is newsworthy enough for the times to waste its precious editorial page space on?? is this some sort of a meta-commentary on the vapidity of our culture? this is even worse than modern love! at least they're still running "the boss." best part of the times!

i gotta hand it to matthew fox: you've come a long way since my junior year when you gave a talk in the schapiro lounge! also, where is neve campbell?

and a shout-out to collin: "In conclusion, peace is good and war and oppression are bad." parents of cc'07, stick with charlie. nobel prizewinners may disappoint.

Roy Hibbert Eats Tyler Hansbrough's Nonexistent Children

In DC, this is how we do:
Georgetown 96, UNC 84.
Hoyas go on to the Final Four, where they will feast on Greg Oden.

because i could

speaking of pimps, any man who can transition from this to this deserves to be called pimp of the week. we salute you, bill!

of course, which do i prefer? i haven't been this conflicted since the fat vs. thin elvis debate of the 90s.

give me a break

ever since the times recommended shallow hal, i have learned to disregard their movie reviews. sorry to rip off your mantra, stosselini (and RIP nell carter), but are you kidding me over here, a.o. scott. looks like someone is projecting.

March Madness: Cricket Edition -- UPDATE

This news is just breaking, and bizarrely it's even catching CNN's interest: Bob Woolmer, Pakistan's cricket coach was, in fact, murdered.

My Favorite!!

Oh My! I'm a Casual Racist

I really like it when old people confuse casual racism with witty observation or old world charm. There is, for instance, that old lady from Arrested Development, who said to Gob, "You could charm the black off a telegram boy." She ends up choking on a piece of chicken. And then there's CBS sports chief Dick Enberg (pictured). During tonight's broadcast of the Southern Illinois-Kansas game the old-timey announcer attempted to praise the Salukis' Jamaal Tatum, a gifted player--a young black man--with a 3.64 GPA: The only C's he's ever gotten, said Enberg in chuckling disbelief, were in African-American Studies. Whoah! But he's black! How is that even possible?! Don't you get, like, a B just for having awesome dreads like Tatum? I wonder if Enberg thinks I should have done better in that Terrorism and State-Sponsored Violence class I took in college.