Saturday, July 30, 2011

hipster or...ajumma?

did you read this article in the times about how everyone is now foraging for edible plants in new york city parks? when they say everyone, they mean it: But foragers today are an eclectic bunch, including downtown hipsters, recent immigrants, vegans and people who do not believe in paying for food.

y'know, this has been weighing on my mind for quite some time. there is SO much in common between hipsters and ajummas. who are ajummas, you, white person, may ask? well, in the blandest sense, it is a korean word that technically refers to a middle-age woman. it usually carries a pejorative connotation. you wouldn't call a sprightly, beautiful woman an "ajumma." because she will kill you. but to me, an ajumma is more of a state of mind than anything: she doesn't give a shit, she asserts her own needs, and she will have her say. she will negotiate for a discount without speaking a word of english, and put you in your place with just a look. here is a good definition, too.

but for purposes of this post, i'm going to examine some of the common traits between hipsters and ajummas:

- pasty skin (whether natural or hard-won)
- love of pickling
- saving and reusing jars, plastic bags, and take-out containers
- love of purchasing second-hand goodsLink- unique sense of style

anyway, in my thegoogling of ajummas, i found this article about a 66-year old (!) korean woman who stood up to two armed robbers. hot damn, girl! two amazing quotes:

Somehow, Kim managed to push the man, grab on to the edge of the counter and brace herself, blocking his path. Kim recalled what she had learned from watching the television show "Cops."

Hadley, who probably won't be readily telling anyone he was chased down by a 4-foot-10, 100-pound Korean woman, was charged with armed robbery and is being held on $250,000 bond. My favorite part, after all that, is Ms. Kim's advice for her would-be robber: "He [should] study. Get out [of jail], he find a job. Don't go to school, no job."

and as the blogger notes: That's gangsta.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Baby Gosling

Here is what you get when you Google image search "baby Gosling." First of all, why are you searching for that? That's redundant. All goslings are babies, dummy. Second of all, what the fuck is up with these images? None of these fucking goslings are cute. Why are their abs so undefined? Who knows. Fuck those goslings. What you're I'm really looking for of course is this. Look at that tinysexy! His shirt is so big! Timberlake towers over him! Is that Britney at the end? She towers over him too. (Btw, I never had Disney Channel as a kid, so even though 95% of this blog is pure pop culture nostalgia, this isn't an example of that.)

I've been on hiatus from the blog for a while, I know. And after a while, I got to thinking, when I make it back, it has to be big. Some kind of magnum opus. Will I finally sit down and write that careful reflection on John Edwards -- whom I lionized in this blog? That fuck-you column about how I was right -- 100% right -- about Barack Obama, you fucking fake-ass, horse-race liberals? (I was right. Seriously. Shut the fuck up. I was right.) No, I am going to write about my questioning my sexual orientation. I think I love Ryan Gosling. Putting aside the fact that he's white and kind of blonde-ish....he's...he's....he's....Canadian. I am a mapleleafsexual. Kill me now.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

quote of the day

me to associate: how old is that guy anyway?

associate: oh, he's really old, like THIRTY-FOUR.

[i look at him]

associate: oh no, are you thirty-four?