Saturday, April 25, 2009

Bea Arthur, 1922-2009

Sometimes there are no words. There are only sweet, sweet memories.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Look At This Fucking Hipster

I don't know if this website is already passe or what, but I have one thought about lookatthisfuckinghipster I want on the record: How many of these shots were taken by Iphone cameras, presumably by other hipsters, in Brooklyn subway stations or in trains traversing the rails in, around and beneath Brooklyn? I say a lot, so that means hipsters are selling out hipsters. Damn. End times.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


i totally forgot that it's time for the eurovision song contest, the annual seizure-inducing orgy of lights, choreography, and nonsensical lyrics. the thing is, i am fairly certain that the only notable group to emerge from this spectacle is abba, back in 1974. nevertheless, the tradition continues and eurovision is entering its 54th year. although 42 countries are represented, all the singers sing in english, sometimes to hilarious effect. this czech rap group's alter ego? the baroque cadillac crew. no, i'm sorry, baroque is the least intimidating era ever. okay fine, it's marginally more thug than rococo, but with so much history to mine, why not something like "the cossacks" or just go for the obvious, "the velvet revolution"? totally street.

anyway, to give you an idea of what's to come, check out the winning song from 2008. just when you are thinking to yourself, "why is richie sambora playing the violin?" wait til 1:53 when the lead singer for def leppard inexplicably starts skating feverishly on a teeny patch of ice.

apparently this dude is the frontrunner this year. i say if history is any guide, anoint this lad already--crazy dancing? check. violin? check. the suspense will continue until the finale on may 16.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Must Desi TV

Hey, everybody. There is a hot new blog on the scene. Thoughtful vivisection of television done by brianiac grad students, Tubatv is the half brainchild of devoted reader Thumbu Sammy, who this past week makes the rather astute observation that all four of the shows comprising NBC's comedy lineup last Thursday, The Office, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock featured South Asian people. Yay for pop cultural presence! Boo for the fact that the South Asian people in question (pictured above)-- Aziz Ansari, Maulik Pancholy, and Mindy Kaling -- played characters named Tom, Jonathan, and Kelly respectively, just like that lady from Texas wants.

Aziz Ansari, who has been a personal favorite of mine since occasional reader Sweet Daddy Purns introduced me to him in the summer of 2005 at the Upright Citizens Brigade theater (right before his killer "Aziz Ansari Punched a Wall" show), has always eschewed the rather limiting ethno-centric style of lesser comedians, but Tom Haverford? Desi, please...Still, I hesitate to condemn after one episode; he struck gold with his "I'm what you call a redneck" line in the otherwise mediocre pilot of Parks and Rec, but gets several demerits for the following statement, which while funny and self-undermining, does nothing to explain really why the fuck he can't be of Muslim heritage on TV: The cold hard fact is that dark-skinned people with funny-sounding Muslim names just don’t make it very far in politics...Yes, OK, fine, Barack Obama, Why does everyone always bring up Barack Obama?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Bin Laden Didn't Blow Up the Projects, Tell the Truth, Ninja

Remember when Chris Rock made that joke about how weird it is that the best golfer in the world is black, and that the best rapper in the world is white? Yeah, me either. Anyway, he did. Then Tiger Woods decided to throw everyone's African American Studies 101 paper into a disrepute and point out that he identifies no more with black culture than with his Chinese or Thai roots, to say nothing of the splash of Native American and Dutch he has in him. And now the other shoe has dropped. Actually, it dropped when Eminem rapped the following Proustian cerebral outburst, Shady Records was 80 seconds away from the towers. Some cowards fucked with the wrong building, they meant to hit ours...But for real, sons, it has dropped: Above, Eminem attempts at pop cultural and zeitgeisty relevance with his new video (Sarah Palin is a sexy hypocrite!) and his Final Four celebration(?)/maudlin and simultaneously saccharine carnival of Detroitsplatation. (Dudes, why has no one, preferably some effete Europeans done a shocking photo expose of blight in Detroit that we can all post on our Facebook pages?!).

The point is, I was overdue for a blog post and Eminem is the worst. Also, he looks like Psycho T's slightly more cavernous-headed brother. Congratulations, UNC! When you're done celebrating your deserved win, can you remind your vicious fan base to post some more videos reminding me I and my ilk are a bunch of gay-ass homos. Just kidding. America's team! Obama! Change! Freedom Fries! Keep our troops in Iraq. 9-11. Never forget.

Lemon, out.

this parody works

i actually didn't like the trailer for where the wild things are. oh i dunno, because my heart is made of stone. the forced nostalgia, the arcade fire, the spike jonze...all of it just seems cutesy and cloying, and aimed at everyone who lives in my neighborhood. (even butthole surfer dude?) oh wow, everything has just changed so much. our lives, our world...are so tough. kids nowadays have to grow up so fast that they can't even take that carefree trip to europe at age 16! what can alleviate such suffering? what can help me return to my optimism of yore?

(haha, i know, i'm annoyed by everything. what did you expect? if you wanted puppies and rainbows, you should have gone here.)

anyhoots, here's a hilarious parody.

Friday, April 3, 2009

what is on my mind grapes?

you know, alec baldwin sounds so thoughtful in interviews that you sometimes forget that this man is permanently on the brink.

the interview was supposed to be about his new movie called "lymelife," co-starring two of the many culkin brothers (not macaulay, sorry), but of course, most of the questions centered on 30 rock. nothing too new to report, except this unexpected tidbit:

I went to an event the other day for NRDC [the Natural Resources Defense Council] and Jack Welch was there. When he told me he watched the show, I was like, "You do?" We've got to get him on the show.

hope he's better than salma hayek.

tangent: was i the only person who found most of the g20 related photos/videos totally hilarious?

the queen reprimands berlusconi:

then this kerfuffle:

hillary's reaction reminds me of angela merkel:

gordon brown can't contain his bromance: