Thursday, September 8, 2011
Harrison Ford's Earring
I AM PLANNING MY COMEBACK POST, NERDS. IT'S GOING TO BE FUCKING EPIC. BOLD-AND-ITALICIZED-AND-IN-FUCKING-ALL-CAPS EPIC...
Meanwhile, here's why we can never have original thoughts anymore. A tour of my mindgrapes recently:
Step 1 -- See picture of Harrison Ford (above) with his dumb earring; Catch him on some late night chat show with his dumb earring, chatting about how he's a rich fuck who decided he liked the horse he was riding in whatever dumb movie he oldmanned his way through recently, whereupon, I shit you not, the audience applauds. The audience applauds his decision to buy the Hollywood horse in some movie about cow dungs and aliases like Harrison Ford is some kind of great protector of animals. The fuck is wrong with people?
Step 2 -- Wonder why Ally McBeal lets Harrison Ford leave the house with that stupid earring. It's so stupid. I don't care how much Kabballah you do or Ciroc you drink. That shit is so dumb. Everybody knows it's dumb. Fucking George Lucas, who has a bulbous challah bread for a neck and a facebeard and made the worst movies ever made, probably thinks that shit is dumb.
Step 3 -- Decide to create a fake Tumblr for Harrison Ford's earring.
Step 4 -- Sinking feeling sets in; Decide to check that no one else has made a fake Tumblr of Harrison Ford's earring.
Step 5 -- Confirm that someone has. Here it is. Fuck.
Step 6 -- Fake Cormac McCarthy Twitter Account?