Monday, March 21, 2011

new lows

example 1: my sister was in town over the weekend and for some inexplicable reason we decided to pick up a quick cup of coffee at mcdonald's. don't ask. anyway, this old lady with her grandson cut in front of me in line and was completely unapologetic about it.

me: you are not setting a very good example for your grandson.
her: that's not my job. [ed note: what the hell kind of an answer is that?]
me (figuring i have nothing to lose if she's not interested in teaching her grandson anything): go to hell.

end scene.

example 2: knut the adorable german polar bear died over the weekend. so sad!! i was reading this article about how people are mourning when i came across this:

Children wrote farewell poems for him, and a group of "die-hard" fans stayed all day, many of them crying. "I've been crying nonstop since I heard about his death," Ingrid Rommel told the AP.

i'm a jerk so my immediate thought was, this woman is nuts. then i moved onto the following sentence:

She said visiting Knut weekly since 2006 helped her get over her husband's death.

that is one of the saddest sentences i have ever read. i dare you to come up with something sadder.


wait, i may have a winner:

Knut was raised by zookeeper Thomas Doerflein after the cub's mother rejected him. Doerflein died from a heart attack in 2008, around the same time that one of Knut's keepers warned he was becoming a "psycho" bear. Doerflein had been banned from playing with Knut because he had become an adult bear and it was too dangerous, leaving Knut sad and lonely.

:( :( :( infinity.

1 comment:

cold4thestreets said...

Normally, I make fun of shit like this and am contrarian about everyfuckingthing, But that bear was really fucking cute, and made the pandas at the National Zoo look like deformed aliens. This is all very sad, and the coffee at McDonald's is pretty good, and much cheaper than Starbucks.