yes, i know. why don't i live here, etc.

discovered this today, much to my delight:

Trevor Linden, C.M.
Vancouver, British Columbia
Member of the Order of Canada

For his ongoing sportsmanship and community engagement as a respected leader both on and off the ice.

BriWi is reading my mindgrapes!

You're a good man, 2010

Hey, all. Not sure I was going to get a chance to put up a post before the end of the new year, so I'm seizing the opportunity right now while having some lunch. Anyway, a lot happened this year: offspring, Duke Championship, career stabilization, John Boehner being an absolute piece of shit cry baby son of a bitch who I will kick in the face if I ever see him in person....Banner year all around. My one regret is I only saw one movie in the theatres this year. And ZOMGZOMGZOMG, Inception...This means I missed SATC 2 and the line of dialogue above (classic Samantha, amirite, guys?). This is sad because that line obviously just bumped my daughter to second place in any objective list of most important and wonderful things to happen in 2010. Let's keep the lolz coming, 2011.

i read this on yelp today

review of an indian restaurant in vancouver:

My wife and I stopped here for lunch, the place was virtually empty. Pleasant inside, but my suprise came when I was served by a chinese waitress, not that I'm against the chinese, I wouldn't be here if that was the case. I was merely pointing out the obvious instant lacking of authenticity.

go blue!

yes indeedy, that is leo.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, E. I hope Father Christmas brought you all the poutine you can eat!

Here are pictures of Asians sleeping in college libraries.  Enjoy!

(Recognize the one above?)

holy crap 2010 is almost over

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where did this year go? for serious, guys. this blog kind of limps along. c4ts, do we just put it out of its misery?

anyway, some rather trivial thoughts as we face the end of the first decade of the new millennium (of course, what did you expect? this blog isn't called interweb important stuff):

1. have you listened to this interview with james murphy of LCD soundsystem? highly recommended. he's totally unpretentious and rather self-effacing. of course, made more likable by the fact that he's kind of old and pudgy.

2. i realized yesterday that i obtained only 2 new albums this entire year: wolf parade, expo 86; kanye west, whatever that album is called. someone gave me the new arcade fire album at some point, but i couldn't really listen to it. the premise was just so annoying. privileged white people angsting out about the suburbs. puh-leeze. next!

3. someone asked me the other day whether i missed nyc. i replied (totally honestly) that i rather like DC. the person seemed aghast and wondered how come i wasn't bored. i dunno dudes, i like that DC is kind of aggressively lame. it tries halfheartedly, but knows it will just never be cool, and really owns its lameness. applause all around. can we discuss how the most important culinary development in my neighborhood is a new IHOP? forealz. it was all anyone regardless of demographic bucket could talk about. i don't get it. no, i'm not being a food snob here, but it's not even a WaHo!

4. this references a point c4ts made a while back: i was kind of tormenting this 25-year-old girl about how she just doesn't know history. and by history, of course, i mean the TGIF lineup. indeed, she didn't know that family matters was a spin-off of perfect strangers! i'm shaking my head as i write this. this new generation, man. i dunno.

5. also, L&O RIP. the columbia drug ring would have been a tailor-made ripped from the headlines episode, except it would occur at hamilton college, of course.

6. finally, while i highly doubt the reader(s?) of this blog have yet to watch this video, i post it just in case. i actually hate it when jon stewart gets all sanctimonious, but this is very well-done and necessary. if anyone knows where we can donate money, please do let me know.

anyway, see y'all soon.

Pathos

In the past, I have expressed some amount of rage about pathos-laden cartoons. Pixar is down the street, so I really shouldn't say this, but I don't give a shit about anything they do, and this opinion, informed in some part by the few of their movies (Cars, the one with the balloons) which I watched, is mainly informed by the fact that I am an adult interested in the complexity and gamut of human emotions. So fuck cartoons. Cartoons are for kids. Now that that's out of the way, Hollywood made a 3d Yogi Bear movie? What the what? And the actual animators involved with the movie did a painstakingly well-crafted fake ending for it, parodying the near-ending of the incredibly awesome and criminally underwatched The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford. Except the parody is actually just a faithful rendition of that haunting scene and is a total pathos fest. The eyes of these two bears -- holy shit. And when it's all done Yogi gets turned into a rug. Everything that's happening in this parody is better than every movie nominated for the NAACP Image Awards Golden Globes, says the guy with a newish baby who has been to one movie in the last seven months.

killing hipsters

"no it's a right now coat."

only a minute long, and well worth it.

leslie nielsen RIP. the only way his obit could be more canadian is if he had a son named gordie.

yo gabba gabba doo

so i didn't know anything about yo gabba gabba, except that hipster bands sometimes performed on it. of course, leave it up to my 5-year-old niece to convince me of the merits of this show. how? let me demonstrate through a photo:

indeed, my niece decided to dress as plex this halloween. i'm so proud of her for choosing, by far, the nerdiest character on YGG. a lesser child probably would have chosen that pink thing with a flower on her head, or at least the cute blue thing. not to mention, can we discuss how my sister made this costume? let me give you the full effect, minus gloves and shoes:

in case you don't know what this show is all about, here is a taste:

How to Lose Your Shit in 10 Days

This video is called "Nicolas Cage Losing His Shit," but what's weird is that the only one (thing) losing his (its) shit is the Yale Drama School, which is obviously going to have to go out of business now because there is no point trying to teach people how to act anymore. Nicolas Cage just straight shows fools how it's done.

Anyway, sorry, I'm still busy turning his blog into a Tumblr. Happy Thanksgiving, home skillets!

ps -- We actually have a "Nicolas Cage" label. I love our blog.

more douchebag, please.

an interesting recent poll of about 5,000 diverse americans revealed that people generally want the wealth distribution in this country to resemble sweden's:
"the top 20% to own just over 30% of the wealth and the bottom 40% to own about 25%."

what is america's actual distribution?
The top 20% of wealthy individuals own about 85% of the wealth, while the bottom 40% own very near 0%. Many in that bottom 40% not only have no assets, they have negative net wealth.

of course, to reach this desired level, we must seriously consider increasing taxes on the wealthy. but no, we're not going to raise their taxes. and how will the rich spend their money? not by trickling that down to you and me, fools. to wit (from the journal, no less):

We know the rich have been spending more than any other sector of the economy. But the real risk with the tax cuts is neither hoarding nor buckets of Grey Poupon. It is that the wealthy will invest their excess cash in ways that do nothing for the U.S. economy–either putting it in emerging markets overseas (which they’ve been doing) or investing in gold (which they’ve also been doing). Exporting capital and buying chunks of metal that sit in a safe do nothing to create jobs or stimulate the economy.

warren buffett is basically begging congress to stop the extension of the bush tax cuts:
“The rich are always going to say that, you know, just give us more money and we’ll go out and spend more and then it will all trickle down to the rest of you. But that has not worked the last 10 years, and I hope the American public is catching on.”

fat effing chance, foreal. every dumdum with $10 thinks he's going to be a billionaire tomorrow. raise taxes on his fantasy earnings? no way.

oh yeah, more fallout from this year's elections?
- consumer protection finance bureau? yeah, that's not going anywhere under the weight of endless requests for reports and investigations from the GOP.
- green card lottery? your days are numbered, too.

omg i'm so bummed now.

on a relatively positive note, kanye's new album is as good as everyone says it is. on infinite loop. i need more douchebag*, please!

* quote from pusha t: "A lot of songs were made strictly from conversations. With 'Runaway,' the beat was down, some of the lyrics were down. And we’re having a conversation about us, as men, being assholes sometimes: admitting it, doing what you can do to get out of it, being well-aware that you do wrong and doing wrong anyways. And he's like, 'I like your perspective on this whole thing. I need a verse.' I had to write it four times. He kept begging for 'more douchebag.' That was his chant: 'I need more douchebag!'

He didn’t understand that I was going through a relationship turmoil at the time, out of my own douchebagness. In the verse, I'm really having a conversation with someone: I was in the wrong about something, so I’m saying it, but then I’m trying to ease it, too. And he’s like, 'No, I need more douchebag. No, please — more douchebag.' He’s killing me, he doesn’t even know it. Eventually I’m like fuck it, I'll just go all the way."

also, can we discuss how three separate individuals are credited on this album for "handclapping?" forealz.

Here's the Fetus

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Look, if we're going to turn this blog into some kind of Gawker Twitter feed, I say, full fucking turkey.

deep thoughts on this year's election

Prep

It's uncanny really. This is exactly what going to an all-boys' school is like. 

The Case against Books

!!!!!!! [BESTIE x BESTIE  1] !!!!!!! from Dean Fleischer-Camp on Vimeo.

Hey, Interweb Detritus is known for launching many careers -- John Edwards' presidency (Hair Club for Men), David Brooks' whatever-he-does, and, at some point, I used to post videos of Gabe and Jenny, from the now sort-of defunct Super Deluxe. Because of that, Jenny Slate caught fire, and went on to eventual "fame" with Saturday Night Live. On her first show she said "fuckin'," which is not allowed and hurts America's heart/eyes. Thereafter, she was shut out for much of the rest of the season, and was eventually fired. Super sad! But she's okay, in case you were wondering. And she thinks you and your Aunt Merriweather are bitches. And you know what, you and her are.

my summary of election 2010

(This Is Not My Post on) Tea Party Horsemen of the Apocalypse as Characters from The Wire

I watched the election returns tonight on MSNBC, except for a brief interlude spent watching CNN on the treadmill. I don't know what kind of weird, non-partisan television policy the Y has going on--there's no Fox News there either--but it made for a really stupefying and frustrating jog. Putting aside the fact that Wolf Blitzer is actually a very stupid robot who's managed to grow human facial hair and who talks only in nonsense tautologies and regurgitated political platitudes--putting that aside, they have a small, banana republic for a political panel. I mean, there were maybe a hundred and forty-two people on their election team. At some point a mustachioed fellow yelled at Donna Brazile for making the incredibly pedestrian point that voters throw out the incumbent party during times of economic peril. There was a lot of "Let me finish my point! and "You were finished!!"in their exchange. I know you're supposed to pick motivational music when you go running to get that adrenaline going. I didn't and on the one hand, watching CNN kind of dulled my senses and physical capabilities, but on the other, nothing has made me want to run, full speed, to Vancouver as much as that broadcast. But I digress.

This is the post where I'm supposed to talk about how all the Tea Partying shitbags are like characters from The Wire. But here's the two-fold problem. 1) Sharon Angle and Christine O'Donnell both lost; Joe Miller is, at this moment, losing to "Write-In Votes." And this means I've lost some of my motivation. 2) I like the characters from The Wire too much apparently. I mean, as I was thinking about it, as I was considering Sharon Angle as Marlo Stanfield, it occurred to me that that's maybe too mean. Too mean to Marlo Stanfield who is a maniac, murderous drug kingpin. Still, the mission is the mission, and, anyway, Rand Paul won (peace and blessings be upon Aqua Buddha); Michele Bachman (see video above) is going to vye for a position in Republican leadership apparently; and Rick Scott, a corrupt turd monster, once fined $1.7 billion and charged with 14 felonies for his role in fraudulent hospital billing, is--thank Jesus--looking like he's going to pull it out in Florida, which is still, still, still the worst fucking state in the Union. So, all is not lost! There are going to be plenty of crazies heading to Washington and to the state capitols. We can all rest assured.

(Ed's note: Oh, baby Jesus. Sharon Angle is on TV now and in her concession speech just celebrated the fact that the vast majority of her donations came from outside the state. Has a candidate in the history of humanity ever admitted as nakedly that she's the creation of out-of-state non-voters? To borrow from Matt Taibbi, there is dumb, and there is dumb, and there is Sharon Angle. On a personal note: I was really looking forward to a lot of racial invective from her in this speech. No such luck, but this candid admission re: being a total whore comes a close second.)

Okay. So, Sharon Angle is definitely not Marlo Stanfield. She's more like Orlando--dumb, dumb, dumb, stupidly ambitious, later incarcerated, and later shot dead. These last two things haven't yet happened to Sharon Angle. But hopefully she will get sent to jail for being so dumb, and hopefully she is also now (politically) dead.

(Ed's Note II: Now Barbara Boxer is on TV, being weirdly passive aggressive (falsetto "I don't think so's" and "mmmmkays" everywhere with this one).)

Now, it's very late on the west coast. The promised blog entry hasn't really materialized and this has become some kind of post-prime-time, when-the-ballrooms-are-all-empty liveblog. Carly Fiorina has gone to bed without conceding; Michael Bennet is losing, which is super sad, but maybe some votes will shake out for him through the night. And Prop 19 is dead.

(Ed's Note III: Some guy in jeans from the Bennet campaign just delivered a statement to literally almost no one that said literally almost nothing. This ballroom he's in, though, has a carpet with a really interesting concentric circle pattern. No one can take that away from this ballroom. Okay. They are turning off the lights and dismantling things in the ballroom now, but MSNBC still has a reporter there saying things.) 

So, in closing, let me thank my wife, 'Pockets, my daughter, 'Pockets, jr. Let me also thank all the people at Dish Network for giving me television. God bless you. God bless America.

C4tS out. (Go Bennet!)

"My Name Was on the Street?"

It is the eve of the 2010 midterm elections, and I would be remiss if I let the moment pass without some commentary. Of course, Interweb Detritus' fierce and furious election coverage in the build-up to the 2008 hope and change extravaganza was -- history will judge -- worthy of awards and plaudits. The crowning pinnacle of my own offerings in those heady times can be found here. (7-part series; scroll to the bottom.)

It has been almost three years since that series. Back then we didn't even know that ______ was going to get capped by his own ______; and that blank would avenge his death by capping _______. Season 5 of The Wire, its laboring and loopy goodness (not greatness) had yet to kind of disappoint us. The economy hadn't yet fully cratered; Obama still had a glimmer of promise; "Predator drone" and "top kill" were not part of our quotidian exchanges.

The day after the soul-shattering election of 2008 I changed the subheading to the blog to what it reads now. I wish I weren't so cynical, but neither cynicism--nor presecience for that matter--can be credited with those words. We elected a slippery, fundamentally non-ideological person--someone who announced himself that way--but who somehow convinced us that his rhetoric was different than all the rhetoric that came before. To reconstitute the words of Slim Charles, when you run on a lie, I suppose, you lose--or lose ground--on that lie too.

And so here we are. The midterms of 2010, and the economy has not improved; the same bovine, unprincipled middle 30% that liked the branding two years ago has found a different brand to get behind now. When you unleash a hope for change in the electorate, that feeling will become endemic. I don't know. What I do know is this: there are some fucking first-class fuck-ups who are taking their guns and their pillboxes and their serpentine flags to Washington come January. After the election results are posted tomorrow, I'll check the count and tally the bodies. Check back in then for....

Elected Tea Party Horsemen of the Apocalypse as Characters from The Wire.

(dis)missives

it's crazy letter day here at interweb detritus.

the gist? larry tribe, in a letter to president obama, recommended against sonia sotomayor. why?

"Bluntly put," Tribe said, "she's not nearly as smart as she seems to think she is, and her reputation for being something of a bully could well make her liberal impulses backfire and simply add to the fire power of the" conservative wing of the court.

don't believe me? see here.

imagine no sweat stains

damn y'all. i was just telling my coworker that if people had to physically write something down on a piece of paper instead of writing emails, maybe we would be more thoughtful. john lennon 1, my theory 0. (click to enlarge)

Duke Sucks! 2010-2011 Edition

Hey, errbody. Basketball is back (almost), which means the haters are too. So enjoy the video above. Btw, Duke scored 141 in an exhibition game yesterday. That is many points! They're totally gay.

Music Video of the Day: The National, "Conversation 16," Treasure Island Music Festival

Baby Anonymous, Sugar Pockets and I attended yesterday's Treasure Island Music Festival, on, well,  Treasure Island, an otherwise sleepy naval base beneath the Bay Bridge in the Bay between Oakland and San Francisco. Baby A caught the She & Him set, seemed to like it, then took a nap. (Babies are weird like that.) She and Pockets had to bail shortly thereafter to make her bed time, leaving me to Broken Social Scene, Surfer Blood, The National and Belle & Sebastian.

Above is the National's rendition of "Conversation 16," which they introduced thusly: "This song is about marriage...and eating brains." These guys may not be the best band in indie world, or the most ambitious, or the most talented, but they are making a serious play to be a part of that conversation. They put on a stunning set of serious, weighty multi-instrumental indie rock, accompanied by a heart-rendingly sincere baritone. "Fall asleep in your branches," the singer pours out. "You're the only thing I ever want anymore."

I stayed till the end of the Belle & Sebastian set, and schlepped it home with a friend, a harrowing trek involving shuttle, foot and BART train. I came home to Baby A, who was already asleep, of course, which is too bad because it's my branches she usually falls asleep in.

superfluous and belated movie review of the month: the cove

i'm not much of an animal buff. i've never owned a pet and i find the anthropomorphization of animals a little creepy. with that out of the way, the cove won the oscar this year for best feature-length documentary. i will not hazard a guess as to whether this film deserved that award since i think the oscars are kind of useless (except as the basis for yet another pool i will lose), and i didn't watch the other nominees. nonetheless, even an ignoramus like me can see that this film is very well-crafted: suspenseful storyline, compelling characters, beautiful scenery, all with a dramatic-without-being-overwhelming score.

the central character was a dolphin trainer who trained the original flipper--or shall i say flippers, since five different dolphins played the part. he greatly regrets his role in popularizing the capturing and training of dolphins for human entertainment. he tears up on several occasions when remarking on the intelligence and sensitivity of dolphins, and why they must not be kept captive. thus, he is now a full-time activist. his aim is to end the dolphin trade in taiji, a small fishing village in japan.

unbeknownst to me, the dolphin trade is very lucrative; one live bottlenosed dolphin can fetch around $150,000. for this reason, taiji is extremely insular and shuns any outsiders who seek to substantiate rumors that the local fishermen regularly slaughter thousands of unsold dolphins in a secret cove. long story short, the documentary traces a team of activists who are determined to draw attention to this act by obtaining visual proof of the slaughter.

the larger problem, beyond the sheer cruelty of the killings, is that dolphin meat is sold throughout japan for human consumption. often, the meat is disguised as whale meat, a coveted commodity. more alarmingly, taiji officials are trying to convince school districts to serve dolphin meat as part of their compulsory lunch programs.

this gives the filmmakers an opportunity to weave in the destructive effects of human actions. we have overfished many species to near-extinction; our disregard for the ecosystem at large means that the largest ocean-dwellers are full of mercury, and by consuming them, we are, in fact, slowly poisoning ourselves.

those are the film's brightest and most compelling spots.

on the flip side, i grew very uncomfortable at how the japanese were portrayed. the activists wryly note that they are all white and, as a result, very conspicuous in this remote japanese town. (was this an unanticipated problem? why didn't they attempt to recruit at least one asian person to their team?) the japanese fishermen's inability to speak english is mocked more than once, although you never see the team of white activists even attempting to speak anything other than english.

the activists dismiss any notions of the alleged "cultural importance" of this practice. to underscore this point, they interview japanese people in the streets of tokyo about this ritualized dolphin slaughter. the interviewees are shocked upon hearing this news, and emphasize that this is not accepted practice in japan. you have to wonder, though, would any japanese person admit to a white, english-speaking camera crew that they not only knew about this, but also condone it?

the filmmakers do show how implacable the locals are, and there is footage of the activists' attempts to cajole and negotiate with those in taiji. indeed, the fishermen rejected the activists' offer to compensate them with an amount equal to their profits from the dolphin trade. nonetheless, the activists' generally defiant and arrogant attitude makes you wonder whether those attempts were made in good faith.

there is no question that the systemic slaughter of any sentient being is cruel. however, an aggravating sense of superiority among the activists emerges throughout the film. one of the activists notes with condescension that the japanese fishermen are probably unaware of just how intelligent bottlenosed dolphins are, and this may explain their cavalier actions. the activists almost seem to affirm the most negative stereotypes about americans: they are smug, domineering and blind to their own shortcomings. no matter how repugnant the act may be, other countries don't seem to feel entitled to invade america to film how it treats its own animals, especially those kept and slaughtered for human consumption.

memo(u)ries

so...i went to a caps game over the weekend. yes, this is a hockey reference. no, i will not talk about just hockey this entire post (party poopers), except to say that there were no less than four fights in the last five minutes of the game and that i somehow got free box seats. who knew that working at a nonprofit would yield such rewards? anyway, being at the game reminded me that i sometimes miss canada and maybe even canadians.

for example, ever hear of "men with brooms"? actual plot summary:

Paul Gross stars as the leader of a recently reunited curling team from a small Canadian town. This offbeat comedy follows the team as they work through their respective life issues and struggle to win the championship for the sake of their late coach.

who's paul gross? and how can this not mention leslie nielson, Hilarious Canadian?

tagline? "a comedy that will sweep you off your feet!" laughing out loud.

second, "battle of the blades." think dancing with the stars, except hockey players, figure skaters, and, of course, ice. Rectangular Shoe Aficionado dick button was a judge in the first season, and they've now enlisted jeremy roenick, Major Whiner and Non-Canadian.

theme song? "there will never be another tonight" by bryan adams. laughing out louder.

you know, the internet continues to enlighten. the above youtube ad features bob probert and tie domi, whose best known collaboration prior to the above gathering was this.

this blog post is so symmetrical. circle of life and the wheel of fortune.

Give Me Pizza

Help me. I can't stop watching this. Also, the slowed down beat reminds me of that G Love and Special Sauce album I bought in 1994 because I was 16, unable to think for myself, and thought girls would think I was cool if I was into shitty music. That album was of course a gateway disc to other forms of douchebaggery I confess I partook in for a while. (Cargo pants!) But then I got to college and a kid on my hallway freshman year gave me a copy of that first Neutral Milk Hotel album and I was, like, Wait, What the fuck is happening? Music can be good??

The Humiliation of Tony Danza

If you think about it, it's actually kind of weird that Tony Danza has waited this long to cash in on his pseudo celebrity. I mean he's the consummate ham-fisted hasbeen we loutish, bulk-buying Americans love to favor with a second act. If you scour our collective unconscious, I'm sure you--or Leonardo DiCaprio--could find recessed memories of Tony Danza doing a stint on the second season of Dancing with the Amazing Idols. But the truth is, as E and I recently discussed, Danza has waited until now to unleash his realness on our TV sets.

Above is a clip from Teach: Tony Danza. Now I don't know when or what channel this show comes on. This is because I am an adult human with a job and familial responsibilities. I cannot spend my evenings with Tony Danza. I am 32. I have a 2001 Toyota Corolla that needs to have its oil changed, and there is laundry to fold. Boardwalk Empire is not going to watch itself. Still, I did want to comment on the above clip. While I assume Teach is a dumb, exploitative show in which Tony Danza attempts each episode to quote his own sitcom character whenever the opportunity arises or doesn't, the above clip is actually sort of dead on -- shockingly so. It's actually "real' in the way reality is real and not just a bizarre simulacrum of reality, packaged by a corporation and sold to us like a bag of Cheetos.

One of the most frustrating things about being a rookie teacher in a pubic school like Tony Danza's and like the one I worked in is how many middling bureaucrats and administrators there are out there who want nothing more in life than to lecture you about picking up your roster or punching in. Oh, Ms. De Naples, you punctilious minx, I knew her when.

moronsayswhat?

yes, i get that states have to pony up quite a bit of cash to ensure that these high speed rail lines are actually built, but c'mon:

Republicans running for governor in a handful of states could block, or significantly delay, one of President Obama’s signature initiatives: his plan to expand the passenger rail system and to develop the nation’s first bullet-train service.

agh. so so infuriating. oh well. considering my obsession with public transportation and complete lack of desire to ever own a car, i am probably a communist.

unexpected photo from the ryder cup

look to tiger's left--head scarf, mustache, cigar...is this a costume? is this foreal?

update: of course, the internet is WAY ahead of me on this one. look!

pavement/lcd soundsystem

so i went to a free outdoor festival over the weekend. pretty good lineup: matt & kim, joan jett, omg pavement and lcd soundsystem. at a different stage, luda and M.I.A. performed. i'm probably missing some others, but anyway.

i'd say the vast majority of attendees were in the early-to-mid 20s range. most were unfailingly polite, managing to not step on your blanket or other personal items when ambling drunkenly across the grass field where we were all seated.

the new york times was totally right, btw. the elaine benes look is back, full force. a sizable portion of the young girls there were wearing tiny floral prints and/or rompers. some looked adorable, while anyone weighing over 100 lbs looked a little...compromised.

here is the setlist for pavement. and lcd's setlist. i can't believe there's an entire wiki site devoted to just setlists. man, you don't have to remember anything anymore.

anyway, pavement were pretty solid, although they still couldn't help but bicker. scott kannberg, aka spiral stairs, looked old and kind of beer-bloated. they played several favorites, including summer babe, trigger cut and starlings of the slipstream. it was like riding a bike, y'all. only if remembering anything about the law were as easy.

but you know, LCD were just awesome. their music was meant to be heard in a huge outdoor pavillion. your fancy stereo and/or headphones just do not do justice to the sound.

why didn't anyone tell me about this?

law & order: UK! now available in america! sam waterson gets wiggy!

wait, so does this mean he's not a secret muslim?

oh dinesh d'souza. who the hell are you? for my own sanity's sake, i usually ignore these pinhead pundits, but his article was actually published in a major and non-crazy-conservative magazine (which i understand is a dying medium and, yeah, i probably shouldn't be reading them anyway).

he penned an article to be published in this month's forbes, entitled "how obama thinks." the proposterousness of the title aside, the basic gist is that barry o is his father's son and his father was an "anticolonialist," which, d'souza helpfully explains, means "the doctrine that rich countries of the West got rich by invading, occupying and looting poor countries of Asia, Africa and South America. As one of Obama's acknowledged intellectual influences, Frantz Fanon, wrote in The Wretched of the Earth, 'The well-being and progress of Europe have been built up with the sweat and the dead bodies of Negroes, Arabs, Indians and the yellow races.'"

why does d'souza know anticolonialism so well? "because I am a native of Mumbai, India. I am part of the first Indian generation to be born after my country's independence from the British. Anticolonialism was the rallying cry of Third World politics for much of the second half of the 20th century."

eyeroll. it drives me insane when non-whites pander to whites by claiming to stand for an entire nation, ethnicity, race, etc. this is no better than a conversation i had last night, when a well-meaning liberal friend of mine admonished her equally white friend for challenging my authority on some throwaway fact about korea, "how can you contradict a korean?" um, i dunno, bc i haven't lived there since 1987 and i can be pretty ignorant sometimes?

btw, jonathan franzen hilariously skewers this well-meaning-liberal phenomenon in freedom. jessica, one of the berglund kids, who already hates her dad's too pretty and too young indian-american female protege named lalitha for obvious reasons, cites as yet another one of lalitha's shortcomings her inability to teach jessica anything about bengali cooking--and indeed, doesn't even know how to cook!--even though jessica was culturally aware and sensitive enough to be inquisitive about it. ha ha ha. thanks for understanding my pain, white man.

anyway, d'souza's description of o sr. i guess is meant to denigrate barry o as well: "He was a Luo tribesman who grew up in Kenya and studied at Harvard. He was a polygamist who had, over the course of his lifetime, four wives and eight children. One of his sons, Mark Obama, has accused him of abuse and wife-beating. He was also a regular drunk driver who got into numerous accidents, killing a man in one and causing his own legs to be amputated due to injury in another. In 1982 he got drunk at a bar in Nairobi and drove into a tree, killing himself."

oh god, if we were to judge presidents based on their family, no matter how removed, i'm not sure if any would escape unscathed.

the more amusing part about this rather disturbing article (disturbing bc it's already caught on with gingrich and will certainly be repeated ad nauseum on fox and their friends, only fueling the othering of barry o) is that many non-sons-of-drunken-polygamist-kenyan-fathers actually kind of accept a lot of the following ideas this more or less as fact: "From a very young age and through his formative years, Obama learned to see America as a force for global domination and destruction. He came to view America's military as an instrument of neocolonial occupation. He adopted his father's position that capitalism and free markets are code words for economic plunder. Obama grew to perceive the rich as an oppressive class, a kind of neocolonial power within America. In his worldview, profits are a measure of how effectively you have ripped off the rest of society, and America's power in the world is a measure of how selfishly it consumes the globe's resources and how ruthlessly it bullies and dominates the rest of the planet."

c'mon, i don't think all those economists who believe in the existence of negative externalities are anticolonialist, polygamist, alchoholic, capitolism-undermining secret muslims. just sayin'.

then, d'souza boldly proclaims, "Colonialism today is a dead issue. No one cares about it except the man in the White House. He is the last anticolonial. Emerging market economies such as China, India, Chile and Indonesia have solved the problem of backwardness; they are exploiting their labor advantage and growing much faster than the U.S. If America is going to remain on top, we have to compete in an increasingly tough environment.

But instead of readying us for the challenge, our President is trapped in his father's time machine. Incredibly, the U.S. is being ruled according to the dreams of a Luo tribesman of the 1950s. This philandering, inebriated African socialist, who raged against the world for denying him the realization of his anticolonial ambitions, is now setting the nation's agenda through the reincarnation of his dreams in his son. The son makes it happen, but he candidly admits he is only living out his father's dream. The invisible father provides the inspiration, and the son dutifully gets the job done. America today is governed by a ghost."

wow. maybe this is some kind of conservative payback for all those times liberals tried to claim that W invaded iraq out of some desire to avenge his father. at least libs didn't lump W and HW's ideological beliefs together.

oh well, shrugs. go djokovic!

R.I.P. This Blog (2007-2010)

Kidding. This blog, like vampires and Betty White, can never die. But if my extended absence really were just a prelude to retirement, thereby killing 50% of the blog, I would post the above video as my final farewell. E-mancrush Gabe over at Videogum suggests this video "taken in the dining hall of a cruise ship during rough seas...is a VISUAL METAPHOR FOR LIFE!" But it's also a metaphor for blogging in the age of parenthood and a wicked content blocker at work. Rough motherfucking seas, people.

art vs. commerce, etc.

i found out that pavement will be appearing on jimmy fallon. and they're holding a contest to see who can jam with pavement. you can enter here, guitar hero.

so how do you feel? yeah yeah, if you care for pavement, i know, c4ts.

1. yay, pavement on a mainstream tv program!

2. jesus, pavement on jimmy fallon?

this, combined with the fact that i corresponded with a 2L today who was born in 1987, i need to up my fibre intake. or something.

what's happening in new york?

ha ha. good pun, new york post.

hizzoner4life enjoys a snack (is it kosher? ay-o!)

the kids are all right

courtesy of the DPRK youtube channel.

summer song 2010

oh phil, timeless.

challenge

c4ts, will you please go see this movie so that we can keep our streak of disagreeing over virtually every film ever made?

also, in case you were still sad over the closing of "ethnic creations" in ann arbor (yes, such a store existed and yes, it closed our 1L year), worry not.

finally, is it bad that i considered de-friending anyone who showed any enthusiasm about this movie's release on facebook? please, don't let me know such things about you.

how you doin'

hot? tired? me too. must be a case of the olds.

here is a surprisingly informative interview with stephen malkmus. i guess he's over his post-adolescent nihilistic phase. oh such earnest and relatively comprehensive answers about pavement's history!

and yes, that photo is my bi-annual eric foner update: on anderson cooper 360 talking about the 14th amendment! does he have a book to shill? what's happening?!

Gone Fishing

Ugh. Vacation. When can I return to the basement of my parents' house so that I can blog in my underwear and drink Super Big Gulps?

d-i-p-l-o-ma-cy!

it's short so make sure you listen to the end - you won't regret it!

Music Video of the Day: That Creepy Cover of "Creep" Set to a Bizarre Montage of Mortgage Industry-Related Images, Courtesy of an Extremely Shady "Foreclosure Assistance" Organization

By now everyone's seen the trailer for The Social Network, which sort of confuses me. I mean it's a David Fincher film, written by Aaron Sorkin, so it's going to be awesome. But then again it's about the Facebook nerds and offers this line -- "I am going to sue you in federal court" -- as an example of its dramatic bona fides. So, a big hmmmm is in order.  (It also has Jason Timberland saying, "A million dollars isn't cool. Do you know what's cool? A billion dollars." So let's add a second hmmmm to the mix.)

In reality though, here's what's cool about the trailer, the haunting cover of "Creep" done by the Belgian girls' choir, Scala. I went to Youtube to find the full version of it, and came across the above video by a group that operates stopforeclosurefraud.com, and which purports to protect people from having their homes foreclosed on.  According to the mission statement for the site, "I am Determined to expose WALL STREET MORTGAGE FRAUD and take back our CONSTITUTION Rights, POWER & DUTIES that is taken from us daily!! (1) Shall not disable any natural or constitutional right without due process of law."

That's all fine and good, I suppose, but then the site links to "a lawyer that gets it." Putting aside the stinging failure of so many English speaking humans to understand who/that distinctions, when you click on this lawyer's site you find out it's suspended for violating the host's terms of service.  The point is as an anonymous commenter put it in an earlier post, fuck all mortgage lending and servicing companies that brought our economy to its knees, but maybe we should be weary too of the "lawyers" who are willing to take up the fight against them. Basically, mankind, Jesus, it's terrible. 

Anyway, enjoy the song.

Incepticons

Whoah, guys.  I watched Inception (trailer above) last night, and my two-word review of it would be this: holy shit. I know these low budget movies with no-name actors can be a hard sell, but you should do yourself a favor, and WATCH THIS MOVIE, with your eyes, and your ears, and your heart. It's so good. Like, there's this part where Zooey Deschanel's boyfriend fights people in ZERO GRAVITY. And this other part where Juno bends entire arrondissements on top of each other. Never mind that the whole movie is premised on a rather glibly explained pro-antitrust philosopy, it's Totes Mcgee Awesome. 

When my mindgrapes recover, maybe I'll go back to real blogging.

sports break

in honor of baseball hothead lou piniella's retirement, i wanted to post his infamous fight with rob dibble. alas, you really cannot find that video online! believe me, i tried. for at least 5 minutes. yeah, i know that page says "watch this video." well, guess what, you can't. you'll get a weather report instead.

anyway, hope that tiny photo suffices. so long, lou!

ps. here is a good description, if you care:

The Occasion: Bullnecked psycho Rob Dibble didn't care for being taken out of a 1992 game for another pitcher, especially since he thought manager Lou Piniella had been badmouthing him to the media. So he decided to squawk about it in the locker room.

The Meltdown: Unfortunately for Dibble, Piniella has never been a cerebral Joe Maddon type of manager. Instead, he waded in for a fight that degenerated into a wrestling match.

The Fallout: While the incident quickly blew over, Piniella's crack of "I'd treat you like a man, but you don't want to be treated like a man!" helped ensure a lifetime of embarrassment for everyone involved.

Are You Professional?

Until E sends me a mashup of De Jong drop kicking into a Zidane headbutt, I will have to content myself with the mash-up above.  Also, I quit my job, and am going to a new place where the people I've interacted with so far don't seem resolutely committed to mispronouncing my name in a variety of ways. Because I have some time in between gigs, this also means no more dudes-only happy hours, and way more blogging. Look out, world. Soon I will share my thoughts on all the many topics I've missed: SB 1070, Lebron James, the iPad, the shocking news that the Israeli Army's internal investigation more or less cleared the IDF for its actions during the flotilla massacre. You will find some classic rants, for sure. Or you might just find stupid videos. Either way, we're all winners here.

superfluous and belated movie review of the month: hot tub time machine

do you know this is our 666th post?!

hot tub time machine - surprisingly enjoyable! ok ok, so it blatantly rips off back to the future. the plot is barely, extremely minimally constructed. craig robinson speaks at a near-whisper the entire time for some reason. 80s neon clothes are kind of a cheap gag. i feel like john cusack agreed to be in this movie solely so that he can make out with lizzy caplan. (party down, RIP).

blahblahblah, anyway. there is no plot to give away, really. the movie begins in kind of morbid fashion: the three 40s-ish main characters are living rather dreary lives, all working in semi-dead end jobs and in terrible/nonexistent relationships. one of them attempts suicide, which brings the three together. they decide to relive their glory (?) days and cheer up the suicidal one at a ski resort they used to frequent in the 80s. one obvious plot twist later, they end up in the 80s, able to retrace their steps and see exactly where and how their lives and youthful dreams went astray. butterfly effect aside, will the main characters be able to resist the temptation to plot their lives differently? oh the suspense!

depressing article of the day

i know i focus on a lot of bullshit on this blog. i think it's because real life can be a giant bummer sometimes. read this if you want to feel sad.

"victim of scammers now battling bank"
chicago sun-times
january 31, 2010

There's no question that Coleamer Hodges was scammed out of her South Side home.In a 2006 complaint, the Illinois attorney general office used Hodges' tragic situation to illustrate the unlawful business practices at the core of home rescue fraud, in which companies claim to help residents stay in their homes but then actually sell the homes to third parties.

Platinum Investment Group, Advantage Mortgage Consulting, Christopher Bidigare, Suellen Carpenter and First Chicago Real Estate Group were found by a Cook County judge to have "engaged in conduct that violates the Consumer Fraud Act." Hodges, 43, had turned to Platinum for help refinancing her mortgage.Representatives picked her up, served her lunch and, although Hodges is blind, had her sign paperwork that she was told was for a refinancing deal."

A couple of months later, I got a surprise,'' she said.She got a bill for $1,300, which was actually for rent if she wanted to stay in the home because Hodges' home had been transferred to a straw buyer.

All of the entities and individuals who were involved in the transaction are now barred from acting as "distressed property" consultants.

They were also ordered to pay Hodges $50,000 in restitution.But that hasn't helped Hodges.

The guilty parties filed for bankruptcy -- and Hodges' $70,000 in home equity is gone.Wells Fargo, the bank that serviced the fraudulent deal, is now demanding to take possession of the property. Attorneys representing Wells Fargo, Johnson, Blumberg & Associates, declined to comment."Since this is an ongoing case, we cannot discuss the matter," an employee who answered the phone told me Friday.

Natalie Bauer, a spokeswoman for the Illinois attorney general's office, said the office had conversations with Wells Fargo last week."We were able to successfully prosecute and put these people out of business, but that is not good enough," said Bauer. "The issue today is that Ms. Hodges is in a devastating condition and needs help. Wells Fargo needs to step up and do the right thing."

Hodges is like the "poster child for victims of predatory lending schemes," said her lawyer, Paul Bernstein."Wells Fargo has refused to even talk about refinancing or modification of the loan or anything other than throwing people out on the street," Bernstein charged.

President Obama has argued that since banks have benefitted from bailouts, they should be willing to lend more money to consumers and businesses.

Hodges has been blind since childhood. She gets around with the assistance of a black Lab named Bronte.Decades ago, her five-bedroom brick home in the 9900 block of South Princeton represented a huge step up for working-class African-American families. But today, job losses and the ongoing credit crunch have led to rapid deterioration of this housing stock. I nearly drove past Hodges' home, thinking it was one of the empty bank-owned properties that are burdening a lot of communities.

Hodges alleges that during an altercation with the straw buyer, he hurled a brick through her front window, which is now boarded up.Inside, the house is practically bare of furnishings, paint is peeling, and floor tiles are worn down to the backing.

When Hodges' mother died from cancer, she inherited the house."It is like a lot of situations that you read about in newspapers," Bernstein said. "She ended up in foreclosure, and the mortgage ended up in the hands of Wells Fargo. That's how I got into it."Bernstein said he has not charged Hodges any legal fees."The main thing that is upsetting me is that the banks have refused to even talk about the situation," he said."She does get some disability and has help from her family."If the bank was willing to work out something, she could stay in the home as opposed to having to move."

So far, Cook County Sheriff Tom Dart has managed to stave off eviction."Our office has been trying to work this out in a way that is good for her," spokesman Steve Patterson said."We've had social workers working on this since April, and we've put too much into this to throw a blind woman and her family out into the street."

Meanwhile, Hodges said she feels like she is on Death Row."This is just a painful struggle. I feel like I have one foot in the chamber."

things i thought i would miss about new york: part 1

miss new york city not, my child. the lord shall provide.

(view outside my office window yesterday)

HAPPY CANADA DAY, E and Keanu!

Sad Keanu is sad because he is building a midtown skyscaper in a city that you will one day leave. Supes sad, E, but Happy Canada Day! Keanu is still Canadian! And he knows kung fu.

we are all getting old

aside from not being able to sleep off a hangover anymore and scoffing at people who dress inappropriately for the weather (e.g., tight jeans when it's 90 degrees outside--yikes!) and/or wear non-sensible footwear, i think age is making me sappy.

case 1. i feel really, really sorry for the japanese world cup team. i know, dude. i keep reminding myself, hello, the occupation of korea? comfort women? for manufacturing a shite car just after my parents broke their decades-long embargo on japanese products and purchased a toyota? APOLO OHNO????

nonetheless, to go out on PKs after defying all expectations is rough. i wish soccer had sudden death.

case 2. i got all choked up over party down's season (perhaps series?) finale. i love this show because it's kind of a relentless downer, which, let's face it, life can be sometimes. you can hope against all evidence and common sense that you're going to make it out of the wilderness, but sometimes you're just going to get kicked in the ass. repeatedly. i'll divulge nothing here except to say that there was an ambiguous glimmer of semi-hope at the end of this episode.

and you know what? that shit really got to me.

finally, and most treacly, case 3. i was on the subway yesterday, standing next to this large-ish black dude wearing a do-rag, a thriller t-shirt, heavy gold jewelry and giant gold sunglasses. i normally don't talk to anyone on the subway because, y'know, i'm not a crazy person, but it would never occur to me to talk to this guy. i'll say it: he was intimidating looking and did not seem like he wanted to casually converse. yeah, that's right, even though he was seated next to a stroller with his daughter inside.

a very pregnant white woman got on the next stop with two equally white little boys. the younger one, about 4 years-old, ran up to the black man and guilelessly exclaimed, "hello!" then he proceeded to show this man and his daughter a little toy he was holding in his hand. it wasn't even anything that exciting, a mere roll of measuring tape. the man removed his earphones and spoke briefly to the boy and his daughter, who attempted to snatch the tape away. whenever the train shook, the little boy held onto the man's trunk-like legs.

i tried to think of a lot of unsavory things to steel myself against the man-in-the-mirror-ness of it all, to no avail. this shit was seriously touching.

ugh, i gotta go now. matlock is on.

things i will miss about nyc: part 3

oh new york post. you've given me so much joy over the years. who can forget "king of swing," your headline for saddam hussein's execution by hanging? or all of those racist and homophobic sean delonas cartoons? i realize that i can read you online wherever i may be, but nothing will beat the chuckle you elicit whenever i pass by you at the news stand.

[ed note. in case you were wondering, the above was indeed the actual headline after the US game. and no, i'm not laughing over the central park tragedy, obvs, but the juxtaposition is quite something else.]