So, my long summer vacation's starting to wrap up. Radiohead's playing over the end credits, as I struggle in vain to get Comcast to correct their spelling of my first name (no, it's not "Adios.") As of Monday I rejoin the ranks of the gainfully employed (and health-insured). But I've learned quite a bit in my time off. For instance, did you know The Hills is fake? Sadly, with great knowledge come soul-rattling questions too: like, umm, wtfuck is up with Michel Gondry's new movie? And w(ho)tfuck is Bobby Trendy, and why didn't anybody tell me about him before?