E, I miss you. This bicoastal thing really gets in the way of our cynical banter. So, here's Scar Jo's new video. Leave your unadulterated bilious remarks in the comments section.
Also, why is Salman Rushdie nuzzling her neck in this video? This question follows in a long line of Salman Rushdie-related questions: For instance, why is Salman Rushdie playing the obstretician in Helen Hunt's new movie? Why is Salman Rushdie in Bridget Jones' Diary? Why did Salman Rushdie write the most outsiderly and hilariously inexpert account of New York City ever committed to print? Why is Salman Rushdie hanging out at Bungalow 8? How did Salman Rushdie land Padma Lakshmi? Why did Salman Rushdie get an eye lift? Why did Salman Rushdie turn away and run from me at that Breyten Breytenbach reading a couple of years ago? The answer to some, though not all, of these questions is this: because all your heroes will eventually sacrifice their innate gifts and become vain, fame-whoring parodies of themselves.