The Old Dominion

When I was in high school I got two reckless driving tickets for driving in excess of 20 miles per hour over the speed limit. I got these tickets within a couple of months of each other--in the same speed trap on Route 123 in Virginia. Just over Chain Bridge, the 45 mph limit turns to 35, and then for a brief stretch it's 25. Totally bullshit. Anyway, I got some fine and was sent to traffic school, where the instructor went around the room asking random "students" why they were there. One girl ran a red, and caused a multi-car collision; another and her friends piled into her VW like it was a clown car and caused a multi-car collision. When the guy called on me, I was surly and said I didn't have a goddamn clue, and couldn't understand why I was surrounded by such an outrageous collection of incompetents. I probably called him Gestapo and quoted Joy Division lyrics, while painting my nails black. I'm murky on the details when it comes to this time in my life.

Anyway, there aren't enough dumbasses like me (and the rest of the kids in that class) to generate enough revenue to make up for erstwhile delusional Presidential candidate Jim Gilmore's sense-defying elimination of the car tax, which to this day apparently continues to plague the Commonwealth (like its concealed handgun laws, but that's a separate rant about some Californian-Frenchman former governor who denies his Jewish heritage, thinks he's a cowboy--even though we don't have cowboys in Virginia--and uses esoteric racial slurs.)

The point is this: Virginia--now the home of the $1050 reckless driving ticket.