Monday, March 29, 2010

Road to the Final Four, 2010


Is the blog dying? Is blogging totally 2006? Should we shift this whole enterprise to tumblr and just re-blog funny cat videos? I don't know. But I do know this. This blog has always been about art above commerce. I mean, I could really easily turn this into another Look at this Fucking Hipster or Stuff White People Like, but I have integrity. I write about what I want to write about: Here's Zach Galifianakis interviewing Ben Stiller. Here's OMG!! THAT GUY WHO CHEATED ON AMERICA'S SWEETHEART NOT NAMED JULIA ROBERTS!!. Here's Owen Wilson's video suicide note for when he tries to kill himself later this summer. (Too soon?) Art, people. Look it up on Wikipedia.

I thought about writing another post about the slow descent into corporate mediocrity encouraged by my dead end job (and the women who love them). I thought about writing about how Microsoft Outlook only displays six entries at a time, and how that's frustrating because the seventh entry is always about that court call I didn't schedule. I thought about writing about that plaintiff's lawyer who told you me my client is "despicable" and "inhumane," and how I responded, "Well, let's be forward-looking, shall we?"

But fuck it, motherfucking Duke is in the Final Four, and I am so happy right now, I am seriously considering kissing, on the mouth, every homeless person who asks me for change tomorrow morning. (Note, I will not give them change though. Teach a man to fish and all that. Tea parties!)

But here's the flip side of Duke success: Already today someone has called me "smug ass" and possessed of a "silver spoon." This week I expect a white guy to criticize Duke to me -- a person who is not a white guy -- for being too white. I expect to be called a "faggot." I expect to be told I never got laid in college by someone with no ties to Duke or North Carolina. And I expect to be told that my team's success is totally illegitimate, and that I should go fuck myself. I get it. Who wants to be responsible for America's other sweetheart having to accept that Kentucky is once again a big failure pile in a sadness bowl? Not I. But this is how it goes.

GO DUKE.

6 comments:

E said...

do you really believe ashley judd is america's other sweetheart?

cold4thestreets said...

My bad. My hot tub time machine took me back to 1999.

E said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thumbu Sammy said...

You should turn this blog into whitedudeswithdreads.com. And I must say, to the credit of Duke's caucasian caucus, they've never tried to be anything other than whitedudeswhocanballatthecollegelevel.com.

cold4thestreets said...

Haha, Thumbu. Thanks for pointing this one out, one of my five favorite anti-Duke arguments. "But they're not good in the NBA." Meaning: your team sucks because while they don't suck they are not as good at this other thing that has nothing to do with the thing we're talking about.

Putting aside the fact that Duke has the highest number of players in the NBA of any school, a group that includes (black) former all-stars Elton Brand and Carlos Boozer, who gives a fuck about the NBA? FINAL FOUR, son. Respect.

Thumbu Sammy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.